Friday, February 27, 2009

Jihaddock

Jihad.
Haddock.
Jihaddock.

A holy war against the Jesus fish.*

Salmon.
Monastery.
Salmonastery.

This time it's personal.

Flounder.
Underdog.
Flounderdog.

In what would be a steel cage match if the water wouldn't escape and drown everyone, so let's call it a glass aquarium match...

Trout.
Outgunned.
Troutgunned.

Mano-a-monotheism, in the holy waters.

Shark.
Archangel.
Sharchangel.

Religion vs. religion, ocean style.

Albacore.
Koran.
Albaocoran.

Pray to God that your God is the God you're praying to.
(Also pray to God that God listens to fish and can understand your fish language.)

Lamprey.
Prayers.
Lamprayers.

What are we even talking about anymore?

Fish would never engage in the hostilities involved in a holy war.
They've only got a 30-second memory, and how much of a grudge could you hold if you only remembered 30 seconds' worth of history?

Memory.
Moray.
Memoray.

Unless that 30-second rule is just for goldfish.
Perhaps larger fish have larger memories with larger grudge-holding capacities.
So, the fight is back on.

Loser sleeps with the fishes.

Winner sleeps with the other fishes.
In heaven.

Ichthyology.
Theology.
Ichtheology.


* Is the Jesus fish what eventually evolved into Jesus?
Crawling out of the ocean, or possibly crawling on top of the ocean, depending when that power kicked in.

Buoy.
Oy Vay.
Buoy Vay.

Or maybe Jesus always has the power to turn into a fish.
Like vampires and bats.

e.g. "Eat this, for it is my body, and it is brain food. Be careful of the mercury content."
and
"Drink this, for it is my blood, and you are Dracula."

Bible.
Bleeding.
Bibleeding.

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