TMI.
MIT.
TMIT.
Too much information about the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Or a new restaurant chain: Thank Mohammed It's Thursday.
No? How about TYIS? (Thank Yahweh It's Saturday.)
Nachos.
Chosen Ones.
Nachosen Ones.
Showing posts with label muslims. Show all posts
Showing posts with label muslims. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, March 9, 2009
Stupork
Stupor.
Pork.
Stupork.
Pigs are supposed to be smart, but if they're so smart, then how come they get eaten so much?
Bacon.
Constantly.
Baconstantly.
Sure, they may have tricked Jews and Muslims into leaving them be. For now.
And yes, they've also escaped the wrath of the Big Bad Wolf.
(By convincing him that he should follow Judeo-Islamic teachings and not blow down their house on the sabbath.)
Shalom.
Lone Wolf.
Shalone Wolf.
But as much as people declare that the pig is smarter than the dog, it's true, the dog might be mindlessly fetching its master's newspaper to read over breakfast, but more often than not, the pig IS that breakfast.
Porcine.
Inevitability.
Porcinevitability.
Pork.
Stupork.
Pigs are supposed to be smart, but if they're so smart, then how come they get eaten so much?
Bacon.
Constantly.
Baconstantly.
Sure, they may have tricked Jews and Muslims into leaving them be. For now.
And yes, they've also escaped the wrath of the Big Bad Wolf.
(By convincing him that he should follow Judeo-Islamic teachings and not blow down their house on the sabbath.)
Shalom.
Lone Wolf.
Shalone Wolf.
But as much as people declare that the pig is smarter than the dog, it's true, the dog might be mindlessly fetching its master's newspaper to read over breakfast, but more often than not, the pig IS that breakfast.
Porcine.
Inevitability.
Porcinevitability.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Jihaddock
Jihad.
Haddock.
Jihaddock.
A holy war against the Jesus fish.*
Salmon.
Monastery.
Salmonastery.
This time it's personal.
Flounder.
Underdog.
Flounderdog.
In what would be a steel cage match if the water wouldn't escape and drown everyone, so let's call it a glass aquarium match...
Trout.
Outgunned.
Troutgunned.
Mano-a-monotheism, in the holy waters.
Shark.
Archangel.
Sharchangel.
Religion vs. religion, ocean style.
Albacore.
Koran.
Albaocoran.
Pray to God that your God is the God you're praying to.
(Also pray to God that God listens to fish and can understand your fish language.)
Lamprey.
Prayers.
Lamprayers.
What are we even talking about anymore?
Fish would never engage in the hostilities involved in a holy war.
They've only got a 30-second memory, and how much of a grudge could you hold if you only remembered 30 seconds' worth of history?
Memory.
Moray.
Memoray.
Unless that 30-second rule is just for goldfish.
Perhaps larger fish have larger memories with larger grudge-holding capacities.
So, the fight is back on.
Loser sleeps with the fishes.
Winner sleeps with the other fishes.
In heaven.
Ichthyology.
Theology.
Ichtheology.
* Is the Jesus fish what eventually evolved into Jesus?
Crawling out of the ocean, or possibly crawling on top of the ocean, depending when that power kicked in.
Buoy.
Oy Vay.
Buoy Vay.
Or maybe Jesus always has the power to turn into a fish.
Like vampires and bats.
e.g. "Eat this, for it is my body, and it is brain food. Be careful of the mercury content."
and
"Drink this, for it is my blood, and you are Dracula."
Bible.
Bleeding.
Bibleeding.
Haddock.
Jihaddock.
A holy war against the Jesus fish.*
Salmon.
Monastery.
Salmonastery.
This time it's personal.
Flounder.
Underdog.
Flounderdog.
In what would be a steel cage match if the water wouldn't escape and drown everyone, so let's call it a glass aquarium match...
Trout.
Outgunned.
Troutgunned.
Mano-a-monotheism, in the holy waters.
Shark.
Archangel.
Sharchangel.
Religion vs. religion, ocean style.
Albacore.
Koran.
Albaocoran.
Pray to God that your God is the God you're praying to.
(Also pray to God that God listens to fish and can understand your fish language.)
Lamprey.
Prayers.
Lamprayers.
What are we even talking about anymore?
Fish would never engage in the hostilities involved in a holy war.
They've only got a 30-second memory, and how much of a grudge could you hold if you only remembered 30 seconds' worth of history?
Memory.
Moray.
Memoray.
Unless that 30-second rule is just for goldfish.
Perhaps larger fish have larger memories with larger grudge-holding capacities.
So, the fight is back on.
Loser sleeps with the fishes.
Winner sleeps with the other fishes.
In heaven.
Ichthyology.
Theology.
Ichtheology.
* Is the Jesus fish what eventually evolved into Jesus?
Crawling out of the ocean, or possibly crawling on top of the ocean, depending when that power kicked in.
Buoy.
Oy Vay.
Buoy Vay.
Or maybe Jesus always has the power to turn into a fish.
Like vampires and bats.
e.g. "Eat this, for it is my body, and it is brain food. Be careful of the mercury content."
and
"Drink this, for it is my blood, and you are Dracula."
Bible.
Bleeding.
Bibleeding.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Arabbi
Arab.
Rabbi.
Arabbi.
Much like a Jew for Jesus, this is a religious leader of the Muslims for Jewish Messiah Who Isn't Here Yet movement.
Muslim.
Limbo.
Muslimbo.
Not that Muslims and Arabs are the same set of people.
There is certainly some overlap, but not entirely.
In fact, some might get mad if I perpetuated that misconception.
Rancor.
Koran.
Rankoran.
But I'm not. So don't. Be happy. Ready? Good.
Kisses.
Islam.
Kisslam.
Rabbi.
Arabbi.
Much like a Jew for Jesus, this is a religious leader of the Muslims for Jewish Messiah Who Isn't Here Yet movement.
Muslim.
Limbo.
Muslimbo.
Not that Muslims and Arabs are the same set of people.
There is certainly some overlap, but not entirely.
In fact, some might get mad if I perpetuated that misconception.
Rancor.
Koran.
Rankoran.
But I'm not. So don't. Be happy. Ready? Good.
Kisses.
Islam.
Kisslam.
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