Sunday, December 26, 2010

Imaginaryans

Imaginary.
Aryans.
Imaginaryans.

All that there would be if Holocaust deniers were correct.

Figment.
Mentality.
Figmentality.


PS They who denied it, supplied it.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Decembrrrrr.

December.
Brrrrr.
Decembrrrrr.

It's too cold to even come up with a good one of these.

Unless.
Esoteric.
Unlessoteric.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

TMIT

TMI.
MIT.
TMIT.

Too much information about the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Or a new restaurant chain: Thank Mohammed It's Thursday.

No? How about TYIS? (Thank Yahweh It's Saturday.)

Nachos.
Chosen Ones.
Nachosen Ones.

Monday, August 30, 2010

JPEGasus

JPEG.
Pegasus.
JPEGasus.

An epic e-pic of a winged horse.

Even more difficult to get than one of Bigfoot, I'd say.

Because winged horses aren't real.

And if they were, the wings would flap too fast to get a good shot, probably.

Defeat.
Feathered.
Defeathered.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Bloggerbil

Blogger.
Gerbil.
Bloggerbil.

"Today I ran on a wheelie thing. Didn't get very far."

Unless that's just for hamsters.

In which case I was just testing you, like a guinea pig. Totally.

Rodent.
Entirely.
Rodentirely.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Agnoptimistic

Agnostic.
Optimistic.
Agnoptimistic.

Seeing the world as half-full of god.

My cup doth not runneth over.

Which means cleanliness is actually next to uncertainty of godliness.

Booya.
Yahweh.
Booyahweh.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Twoferocious

Twofer.
Ferocious.
Twoferocious.

A new game that you can play by following on Twitter.
(Click above to play/see/waste time.)

It is moderated by myself and fellow comedian/word-lover MC Mr. Napkins.

Napkins.
Kinship.
Napkinship.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Officeland

Office.
Iceland.
Officeland.

I'm pitching a spinoff of the American Office television program.

It's also a spinoff of the British Office.

It takes place somewhere in between.

Reykjavik.
Vicinity.
Reykjavicinity.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Famenesia

Fame.
Amnesia.
Famenesia.

When becoming a celebrity, sometimes one forgets one's friends, or the little people, or forgets that one's friends are not little people, which ironically makes the celebrity seem like a smaller person.

Celebrity.
Itty-bitty.
Celebritty-bitty.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Autopsy-Turvy

Autopsy.
Topsy-Turvy.
Autopsy-Turvy.

"Well, that's why he died. He has feet where his head should be."

"Doctor, I think his body is just facing the other way."

"Ah, then THAT's why he died. He should have been facing the right way."

Encore.
Coroner.
Encoroner.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Chamomeleon

Chamomile.
Chameleon.
Chamomeleon.

Which one of these words is hiding in the other?

Either way, it's relaxing, isn't it?

Or no?

Camouflage.
Agita.
Camouflagita.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Genee-Jerk

Genie.
Knee-Jerk.
Genee-Jerk.

Don't react immediately when a magical being tells you you have three wishes.

First, make sure it's not one of those vindictive ones that will purposefully misinterpret your words to give you literally what you asked for but figuratively big problems.

e.g. You ask to be the richest person in the world, so the genie kills everyone else.

Genie.
Genocide.
Genie-cide.

Also, it might not even be a genie, but the devil in disguise trying to steal your soul.

If that's the case, go through all the motions and then when he tries to claim it, you can say, "No, I said you could have my SOLE. Of my shoe. Take the whole thing. In fact, take both. I'm feeling magnanimous."

Genie.
Generous.
Genie-rous.*

Then you just go to the genie and ask for a new pair.

And then he gives you a piece of fruit.

Which is way more delicious than losing your soul.

Genie.
Needless to Say.
Geneedless to Say.



* That one wasn't actually even about the genie, sorry.

Devil.
Illegitimate.
Devillegitimate.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Tic-Tactic

Tic-Tac.
Tactic.
Tic-Tactic.

How to get someone with bad breath to stop doing that.

Halitosis.
Cease and Desist.
Halitosease and Desist.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ventriloquisdom

Ventriloquist.
Wisdom.
Ventriloquisdom.

Behind every great man is another man with his hand in that first man's butt.

Also the first man is made of wood, and doesn't have to be a man.

The second man doesn't have to be a man either.

This stuff is hard to learn. You'll never find a book called "Ventriloquists for Dummies."

Mannequin.
Quintessentials.
Mannequintessentials.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Sincidious

Sin City.
Insidious.
Sincidious.

I'm in Vegas this week, and I came up with a new word to describe it.

(It also coincidentally sounds like there's a "hideous" in there somewhere.)

Coincide.
Hideous.
Coincideous.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Februaryan

February.
Aryan.
Februaryan.

Someone who really hates Black History Month.

African.
Anger.
Africanger.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Decadequate

Decade.
Adequate.
Decadequate.

It's 2010, the start of a new ten-year period!

Or it's actually the end of the last ten-year period, because when you count to 10 starting with 1*, you don't get there until you get to 10. And then the next 10 starts with 11.

Don't be mad. Or do. Let it out.

Math and I are here for you.

Eleven.
Venting.
Eleventing.


* I'm told there is no year 0 (no Chinese year of the goose egg**).

Of course, time is relative and anyone can call anything whatever they like, but according to the system that we're using, there's no number 0, so we started with 1 and finish with 10, unless there was a 9-year decade somewhere in the past two-thousand years.

Nonade?
Adept.
Nonadept.

Or, if some amount of time was added to or subtracted from each year or decade as necessary to get us to the point we're at now, such that 2010 can be the first year of a new decade.

Arithmetic.
Meticulous.
Arithmeticulous.

Which I'm fine with, either way, if that's how people want to go.

I'm agreeable. Especially when the issue doesn't really matter.

Flexible.
Bull.
Flexibull.


** Goose egg means zero, right?

So then egg definitely came before chicken.

Just not necessarily chicken egg.

Fowl.
Philosophy.
Fowlosophy.

(See also Breakfastidious.)

Friday, January 1, 2010

Entrail Mix

Entrail.
Trail Mix.
Entrail Mix.

A good snack for a zombie hike.

(Talk about super-natural.)

And make sure you keep hydrated.

Intestinal.
Nalgene.
Intestinalgene.