Nobelfry

Nobel.
Belfry.
Nobelfry.

Some people think the committee is batty for giving Obama the peace prize, at a time when our country is at war.

Afghanistan.
Standby.
Afghanistandby.

But Batman is constantly engaged in a war on crime, to keep the peace, remember?

Forgot.
Gotham.
Forgotham.

So, nothing hypocritical about being batty.

Hypocrite.
Critters.
Hypocritters.

Strategypt

Strategy.
Egypt.
Strategypt.

Sometimes I just get words ready for when they're relevant.

If we go to war with Egypt and need a plan, you heard it here first.

Prepared.
A Ridiculous Idea.
Preparidiculous Idea.

Aquamanatee

Aquaman.
Manatee.
Aquamanatee.

Half creature of the sea, half super-hero that lives in the sea and has the power to communicate with any creature of the sea.

Thus being very in touch with itself.

Or being a thing that talks to itself a lot.

(A lot of lonely sea beings end up like that.
At least the little mermaid would always make a song of it, to distract from the fact of how alone she was.)

Solitary.
Ariel.
Solitariel.

Morninja

Morning.
Ninja.
Morninja.*

Me, when I awaken earlier than my girlfriend and sneak out of bed without waking her.

Sleeping.
Ingenuity.
Sleepingenuity.


* Not to be confused with a mourning ninja, which is someone who kicks ass at grieving.

Grief.
Effortless.
Grieffortless.

Probably because they're trained to be comfortable with death, they're at one with the universe, and they're already wearing black.

Shiva.
Values.
Shivalues.

Karattweiler

Karate.
Rottweiler.
Karattweiler.

A canine that will only use its very disciplined viciousness on you in self-defense.

Judo.
Dog.
Judog.*

Its bark is worse than its bite, but its roundhouse kick is worse than both of those.

Fido.
Dojo.
Fidojo.

At least it can't punch you. (Dogs don't have hands.)

Tai Chi.
Chihuahua.
Tai Chihuahua.


* This word also sounds like it can also be used as an anti-Semetic slur, for anyone out there who hates Jews and dogs alike.

Yarmulke.
Kennel.
Yarmulkennel.

Melancholiday

Melancholy.
Holiday.
Melancholiday.

Days that are celebrated because they commemorate something sad, as opposed to something happy.

Taboo.
Boohoo.
Taboohoo.

Like Pearl Harbor Day, or Arbor Day if you hate trees, or even holidays that DON'T have the phrase "Arbor Day" contained somewhere within.

Botanical.
Calendar.
Botanicalendar.

Bidetente

Bidet.
Detente.
Bidetente.

A peace in the war on unclean nether regions.

Nether.
Hereabouts.
Nethereabouts.

Ambulancelot

Ambulance.
Lancelot.
Ambulancelot.

The modern-day equivalent of a knight in shining armor that might not protect you BEFORE you get hurt, but helps out after the fact.

My hERo.

Macho.
Hospital.
Machospital.

Relaxtion

Relax.
Action.
Relaxtion.

I sat in a Japanese garden today and got my zen on.*

Meditation.
Stationary.
Medistationary.

There was a giant bonsai tree. Maybe you'd just call it a tree.

Bonsai.
Sizable.
Bonsaizable.

Anything I was feeling unhinged about was completely washed away by the sun and shade and all-around soothing nature of nature.**

Soothing.
Hinged.
Soothinged.

Well done, Japanese.
Technology, martial arts, sushi, AND peaceful gardens?
What next?

Probably a robot that makes vegetable sushi out of a garden by using karate.

Robot.
Botanical.
Robotanical.

And/or...

Ninjitsu.
Sushi.
Ninjitsushi.


* Not my xenon, my zen on.

Though because xenon is a colorless, odorless gas, I suppose it's possible that I was getting that also.

And xenon IS used in some anesthetics, so that wouldn't conflict with a state of meditation.

Though it's also used in flash lamps, which might.

It's a versatile element.

Xenon.
Noncommittal.
Xenoncommittal.


** Anything including the mixed metaphor of being washed by the sun.

Dried? Of course.
But it was probably just drying sweat that it caused itself.
Hero and villain in one.

See? Zen.

Sunny.
Neato.
Sunneato.

Emergeorgia

Emerge.
Georgia.
Emergeorgia.

A few hours from now, I will board a plane in NYC.

A few hours from then, I will disembark somewhere else.

Savannah.
Ahead.
Savannahead.

Then it's on to Atlanta (or as they say, "Hotlanta") and finally Athens (or as I will say, "Hot-thens," because two can play at that game).

Which is also this game, so two were actually already playing it, but separately, like dueling solitaire players, until now, when at least one of the players is aware of the other and the game becomes Duelitaire!

Playing.
Yin Yang.
Playin Yang.

Quadricentennialways

Quadricentennial.
Always.
Quadricentennialways.

It's that time again.

The number of posts here is once more divisible by one hundred, and while Blogger may not know the word "quadricentennial," I hold that it is a valid numerical prefix, and Merriam-Webster agrees.

Validity.
Ditto.
Validitto.

So we soldier forth. (Or we soldier four hundredth, actually.)

Here's to the next four-hundred, and the four-hundred after that, and however many it will take before the prefixes get too ridiculous or non-existent to continue this tradition...

Silly.
Ellipses.
Sillipses.

Twinitials

Twin.
Initials.
Twinitials.

People who share the same letters starting their first and last name.

For example, here are some of my (Myq Kaplan's) initial twins:

Mike Katz (a guy I went to college with, not someone I'm making up)

Unimaginary.
A Real Person.
Unimaginareal Person.

Martin Luther King (if you ignore his pesky middle name that no one uses much anyway, right?)

Civic.
Victor.
Civictor.

Mortal Kombat (did I say they had to be people? fine, then this will be the name of my first child*)

Moniker.
Krrrrunch!
Monikerrrunch!

Those are actually the only ones I could come up with. Anyone have other ideas?
Are there no celebrities with just the initials MK? Is it forbidden? Am I forever doomed to a life of simple happiness and productivity on a reasonable and enjoyable scale?

Fulfilment.
Entire.
Fulfilmentire.


* I'm not actually planning on having children, but I very well may change my last name to "Kombat." That couldn't lead to any more spelling konfusion.
e.g. "That's right, it's Myq with a Y and a Q, and Kombat with a K, no, this isn't a prank, hello? Hello? Please, I need my medicine!"
(In this scenario, I am on the phone with some sort of medical provider, it seems.
Which is optimistic about either my future financial situation or prospects for universal health care, or both. Here's hoping, you skeptics!)

Alphabet.
Bitter.
Alphabitter.

Mentorment

Mentor.
Torment.
Mentorment.

What Daniel-san experienced when painting Mr. Miyagi's house, until he got smart enough to trick Tom Sawyer's neighbors into doing it for him.

Clemens.
Mensa.
Clemensa.

Sentresent

Sentry.
Resent.
Sentresent.

What a British soldier must feel at the prospect of not being able to move while protecting Buckingham Palace from tourists.

Immobile.
Bull.
Immobull.

Matadorky

Matador.
Dorky.
Matadorky.

Nerdy bullfighters.*

Poindexter.
Steer.
Poindexteer.


* Side note: bullfighting is sexist.
Fighting only the male, excluding the female cow.

Udder.
Derision.
Udderision.

It's not called "cattle-fighting."
There's not even a separate (but "equal") league of heffer-fighting.
(Or if there is, it's not even as well known as the WNBA.)

Bessie.
Basketball.
Bessketball.

Seppukulele

Seppuku.*
Ukulele.
Seppukulele.

Music to kill yourself by, with honor.

Hari Kari.
Aria.
Hari Karia.

Or, music that causes you to kill yourself or others, honor notwithstanding.

Assassins.
Instrument.
Assassinstrument.


* Literally "stomach-cutting," which wouldn't necessarily mean death in today's terms.

It could just mean weight loss surgery, a more modern way to avoid shame.

Either way, it explains why "puke" is right in the middle.

Seppuku.
Upchuck.
Supchucku.

Though that might sound less like a vomitous ritual and more like a suppertime nunchuck.

As opposed to the midday weapon.

Lunch.
Nunchucks.
Lunchucks.

(See also Nunchuck E. Cheese.)

Caloryu

Calorie.
Ryu.
Caloryu.

The new streetfighter diet has you rid yourself of extra weight via fireball, getting you back into fighting shape faster than you can say "Hadouken!"
(Actually, exactly as fast as you can say it.)

Judo.
Doughy.
Judoughy.

Of course, the release of the fireball can be an efficient way to power up the barbecue and cook one's next meal...

Flames.
Mesquite.
Flamesquite.

... so it's important to balance your cheese intake against your chi output.
(And not just cheese, but also other fattening foods that don't sound similar, like chocolate, for example.)

Mocha.
Chakras.
Mochakras.

Jihaddock

Jihad.
Haddock.
Jihaddock.

A holy war against the Jesus fish.*

Salmon.
Monastery.
Salmonastery.

This time it's personal.

Flounder.
Underdog.
Flounderdog.

In what would be a steel cage match if the water wouldn't escape and drown everyone, so let's call it a glass aquarium match...

Trout.
Outgunned.
Troutgunned.

Mano-a-monotheism, in the holy waters.

Shark.
Archangel.
Sharchangel.

Religion vs. religion, ocean style.

Albacore.
Koran.
Albaocoran.

Pray to God that your God is the God you're praying to.
(Also pray to God that God listens to fish and can understand your fish language.)

Lamprey.
Prayers.
Lamprayers.

What are we even talking about anymore?

Fish would never engage in the hostilities involved in a holy war.
They've only got a 30-second memory, and how much of a grudge could you hold if you only remembered 30 seconds' worth of history?

Memory.
Moray.
Memoray.

Unless that 30-second rule is just for goldfish.
Perhaps larger fish have larger memories with larger grudge-holding capacities.
So, the fight is back on.

Loser sleeps with the fishes.

Winner sleeps with the other fishes.
In heaven.

Ichthyology.
Theology.
Ichtheology.


* Is the Jesus fish what eventually evolved into Jesus?
Crawling out of the ocean, or possibly crawling on top of the ocean, depending when that power kicked in.

Buoy.
Oy Vay.
Buoy Vay.

Or maybe Jesus always has the power to turn into a fish.
Like vampires and bats.

e.g. "Eat this, for it is my body, and it is brain food. Be careful of the mercury content."
and
"Drink this, for it is my blood, and you are Dracula."

Bible.
Bleeding.
Bibleeding.

Katanal

Katana.
Anal.
Katanal.

Samurais are fairly particular about their weapons.

Finicky.
Kyujutsu.
Finickyujutsu.

(Now you try one. How about "Anxious" plus "Shuriken"?
Anxiouriken? Not as easy as it looks.) *


* Or perhaps it is exactly as easy as it looks.
Depending on who's doing the looking and easing.

Watch.
Wakizashi.
Watchizashi.

Nunchuck E. Cheese

Nunchucks.*
Chuck E. Cheese.
Nunchuck E. Cheese.

Something that can make a child's birthday party even happier, but not for them.

Unless they have pleasant dreams, certainly possible when knocked unconscious.

Ninjitsu.
Surely.
Ninjitsurely.


* More appropriately spelled "nunchaku," I know.
But there is no obnoxious child pizza franchise named "Chak U. Cheese," unfortunately for us all.

It could have been a great Italian/Asian fusion restaurant.

Italia.
Asian.
Italiasian.

Especially for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Japanese fighting style, love of pizza, AND as a bonus, a horrible location that would make most people unhappy, just like the original Chuck E. Cheese does.

It takes a certain something to eat here.

Sewer.
Warriors.
Sewarriors.

(See also Pepperonin.)