Thursday, July 30, 2009

Dinneraction

Dinner.
Interaction.
Dinneraction.

Unnecessarily long (but fun) term for having a meal with someone.

Supper.
Superfluous.
Supperfluous.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Strategypt

Strategy.
Egypt.
Strategypt.

Sometimes I just get words ready for when they're relevant.

If we go to war with Egypt and need a plan, you heard it here first.

Prepared.
A Ridiculous Idea.
Preparidiculous Idea.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Daffodildo

Daffodil.
Dildo.
Daffodildo.

Not the most functional, but pretty.

Flower.
Erotic.
Flowerotic.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Aquamanatee

Aquaman.
Manatee.
Aquamanatee.

Half creature of the sea, half super-hero that lives in the sea and has the power to communicate with any creature of the sea.

Thus being very in touch with itself.

Or being a thing that talks to itself a lot.

(A lot of lonely sea beings end up like that.
At least the little mermaid would always make a song of it, to distract from the fact of how alone she was.)

Solitary.
Ariel.
Solitariel.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Montreality

Montreal.
Reality.
Montreality.

I'm there.

It's not an imaginary place.

Unless I'm an imaginary person.*

Arcane.
Canada.
Arcanada.


* I think I'm not, therefore I am not?

Descartes.
Testing.
Descartesting.

What if you thought you were Descartes?

Rene.
Nerve.
Renerve.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Mayhemp

Mayhem.
Hemp.
Mayhemp.

Marijuana can cause a lot of problems.

Personally, it usually makes me fall asleep and miss the rest of the party.

Marijuana.
Naptime.
Marijuanaptime.

But people usually take pictures of me (or draw pictures on me, or both) so I can learn how fun it was anyway.

Narcoleptic.
Tickled.
Narcoleptickled.

So there's no need to do cocaine or uppers of any kind to stay awake, not in this modern age of technology.

Gateway drug problem solved!

Cocaine.
Inert.
Cocainert.


(See also Begateway.)

Friday, July 17, 2009

Awkwairdo

Awkward.
Weirdo.
Awkwairdo.

This entry.

Or me for writing it.

Blog.
Logic.
Blogic.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Poseihnfeld

Posehn.
Seinfeld.
Poseihnfeld.

A cross between comedians Brian and Jerry.

"What's the deal with death metal? There's no death, and there's no metal!"

"Actually, the guitars have some metal."

"Oh. Okay then. What's the deal with comic books? They're not books, and they're not comics!"

"They're both, actually."

"Oh. Okay. What's the deal with this joke going on so long?"

"THERE you go."

Comedian.
Dying.
Comedying.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Gardenial

Garden.
Denial.
Gardenial.

What Adam and Eve experienced, after the snake made his convincing argument that "ignorance is bliss" meant that you shouldn't have either of those.

What's better? Knowing things, or being happy?

That's what I'd like to know.

Or not.

Informed.
Mediocre.
Informediocre.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Poconostradamus

Poconos.
Nostradamus.
Poconostradamus.

I predict that I went to Pennsylvania two days ago and stayed overnight until yesterday.

(Being psychic is easy when you do it in reverse. I think then it's called "memory.")

Memory.
Oh Really.
Memoh Really.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Tutuba

Tutu.
Tuba.
Tutuba.

Someone whose ballet is large, low, and loud.

As opposed to the tinier, higher, quieter variety.

Ballerina.
Inaudible.
Ballerinaudible.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Hefnerd

Hefner.
Nerd.
Hefnerd.

The brains behind Playboy.

(They say behind every great man is a woman, and this man was smart enough to put the women front and center.)

XXX.
X Chromosome.
XXX Chromosome.

Friday, July 10, 2009

KATGIF

KATG.
TGIF.
KATGIF.

Keith and the Girl is fun.

(That's what that whole expression could stand for.)

It's a podcast that I appear on regularly enough that I feel fine saying I appear on it regularly.

This entry would probably be most appropriate if I were appearing on it today, Friday.

But sometimes the universe doesn't work perfectly.

For example, Pluto's not a planet anymore, and I'm not on the show again until this coming Tuesday. Also tomorrow for their 1000th show-xtravaganza.

But that's perfect enough, isn't it? (Except for Pluto. Sorry!*)

Podcast.
Astronomy.
Podcastronomy.


* My childhood peers will just have to content ourselves with the idea that "my very educated mother just served us nine..." without referencing what nine things she served us.

Perhaps she's educated enough to assume that we'll put it together.

Or we just all have to deal with the fact that someone stole our pickles.

Pickle.
Klepto.
Picklepto.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Mesclunar

Mesclun.
Lunar.
Mesclunar.

Vegetables eaten at night.

Nocturnal.
Alfalfa.
Noctrunalfalfa.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Whimpervious

Whimper.
Impervious.
Whimpervious.

When people whine at/to/near me, I am emotionally invincible.

Bullets:Superman::Whining:Me.

Unless the whining is made of kryptonite.

Gripin'.
Indestructible.
Gripindestructible.

Yetymology

Yeti.
Etymology.
Yetymology.

Where did the name "Bigfoot" come from, anyway?

Sure, they probably first identified his existence due to big footprints, but wouldn't they make the assumption that there was a giant creature attached, and not just a big-footed thing that was unremarkable in everything but the foot department?

Why not call him "Big Thing"? (If the name had to be so boring.)

Or at the very least, Bigfeet?
(Weren't there left AND right footprints? Or is that part of the intrigue and mystery of the creature?)

Podiatric.
Tricky.
Podiatricky.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Addictionary

Addict.
Dictionary.
Addictionary.

Someone or something that can't get enough words.

(So they start making up new ones.)

Etymologist.
Gestation.
Etymologestation.

Canadamant

Canada.
Adamant.
Canadamant.

In college, I sang in an a capella group called VoiceMale (I didn't name it, but would have been happy to name it that, were it up to me), and we went on tour down the east coast of this country but also up to Montreal, because, damn it, people wanted to see strippers with their eyes and beers with their mouths, and Canada's drinking age was lower than ours, so score!

Montreal.
Realistic.
Montrealistic.

The score after a trip to one bar and two strip clubs was as follows--
Beers: 14, Shots: 2, Time Asleep: unknown, due to being asleep.
(That's what happens when an a capella group sings in a bar and gets pitchers sent over to them by people who love the singing or are trying to bribe us to stop, and you add in the fact that only a couple of the guys in the group actually drank to begin with.)

Sleepy.
Period.
Sleeperiod.

I woke up from my nap that you might call "having passed out" if you were a stickler for that sort of thing, I eliminated the problem from my body from whence it came, and I went back to our hotel or wherever we were staying, I don't remember, I was drunk. For the very first time, did I mention? That's what this story is about.

Virgin.
Gin and Tonic.
Virgin and Tonic.

Then when I woke up the next day, I had the biggest hangover. It was probably the worst pain I'd ever felt, and my parents got divorced when I was a kid. (But they didn't hit me in the head with the power of that many drinks.) Also I figured they were better off living the lives they wanted to lead. No worries.

Point is, it was no good, so I promised no one in particular (maybe myself?) that I'd never drink that much again. And I didn't. Until the next time. A capella!

Until.
Illness.
Untillness.


(See also Hungovery.)

Monday, July 6, 2009

Ignormal

Ignore.
Normal.
Ignormal.

Not paying attention to the ordinary.

Probably not applicable to those under the influence of psilocybin.

Litmus.
Mushrooms.
Litmushrooms.

(See also Psilocybinoculars.)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Comedaytime

Comedy.
Daytime.
Comedaytime.

Had a show during the day today in Washington Square Park.

2pm, the time when comedy is born! And immediately takes a nap.

The "stage" was one side of a circular area with benches lining the circumference, so anyone who wanted could get a great seat either right behind me or far away on the other side of the circle.

Or they could sit right down in the middle of a walkway and be trampled.

Either way, their laughs were sure to be lost into the ether of the outdoors, or muffled because they were being trampled.

A good time was had by all! (Most people opted for trample-free.)

Stomped.
Pedestrians.
Stompedestrians.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Independensity

Independence.
Density.
Independensity.

Our freedom's mass per unit volume.

Happy birthday, America.

The extra weight suits you. You don't look a day past 200.

4th of July.
Liar.
4th of Juliar.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Hydrama

Hydra.
Drama.
Hydrama.

For example, when you're dating someone who causes so many headaches that even when you put out one fire, two more pop up to take its place.

Fiery.
Relationship.
Fierelationship.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Lupinocchio

Lupine.
Pinocchio.
Lupinnocchio.

A wolf who wants to be a real boy.

Like one of Mowgli's "brothers" who is jealous of his opposable thumbs.

Jungle.
Learning.
Junglearning.