Umbilical Corduroys

Umbilical Cord.
Corduroys.
Umbilical Corduroys.

The grossest pants in the world.

And that's not all... they're also made of umbilical cords!

Pantaloon.
Lunacy.
Pantalunacy.

Dominostalgia

Dominos.
Nostalgia.
Dominostalgia.

I used to eat their pizza all the time.

Then I found out the owner donated lots of money to pro-life causes, so I stopped.

Then I found out the owner sold the business and it has nothing to do with pro-life causes anymore.

But by then it was too late; I was already a vegan.

Tofu.
Futility.
Tofutility.

Talmudblood

Talmud.
Mudblood.
Talmudblood.

Another word for a shiksa.

Unless that's offensive, in which case I take it back.

Hebrew.
Rewind.
Hebrewind.

Hempty

Hemp.
Empty.
Hempty.

When you're out of pot.

Or the first name of Mr. Dempty.

(Maybe that's why he threw himself off that wall... because he was out of pot.)

Foregone.
Ganja.
Foreganja.

Historepeat

History.
Repeat.
Historepeat.

They say that not knowing history will lead to repeating it.

But what about the parts that we WANT to repeat? Shouldn't we try and not know them?

Stop teaching about Gandhi and Martin Luther King and Einstein and Thomas Edison and Darwin!

Once we've forgotten all about them, we'll have new ones!

Maybe a Voltron combining them all: a peaceful time-traveling inspirational inventor!

(With the head of a lion! And arms that are also the heads of lions! But that used to be the heads of monkeys! Go Voltron!)

Evolve.
Voltron.
Evolvtron.

Ampersandwich

Ampersand.
Sandwich.
Ampersandwich.

A delicious punctuation, the recipe of which is a generous helping of the shift key along with the number 7.

Menu.
Numerical.
Menumerical.

Easy as pie!
(Or even easier, actually. I can't make a pie, but I can do this.)

Recipe.
Period.
Reciperiod.

Abrahamlet

Abraham.
Hamlet.
Abrahamlet.

To be or not to be the father of Judaism.

Oy Vey.
Vague.
Oy Vague.

Algaesus

Algae.
Jesus.
Algaesus.

Doesn't so much WALK on water as float on top of it.

(The dead-then-returned-to-life-man's float.)

Reincarnate.
Naturally.
Reincarnaturally.

Skunkosher

Skunk.
Unkosher.
Skunkosher.

I don't know if any religions outlaw the eating of this animal, but they probably don't have to.

Pepe Le Pew.
Putrid.
Pepe Le Pewtrid.

Porcupineapple

Porcupine.
Pineapple.
Porcupineapple.

Fruit that can relax because of its natural defense system against predators.

Tranquil.
Quilled.
Tranquilled.