Pascalamity

Pascale.
Calamity.
Pascalamity.

A French philospher determined that one should gamble that God does exist, because that will result in one of the following:

1) You are right, God exists, and you win an eternal afterlife of happiness.
2) You are wrong, God doesn't exist, and nothing bad happens.*

Wager.
Germane.
Wagermane.

But if you had gone the other way, betting against God's existence, you get one of these results:

1) You are wrong, God exists, and you win eternal suffering.
2) You are right, God doesn't exist, and all you win is a life of being right. And you never even find that out, because when you die that's it, the end.

Gambit.
Bitter.
Gambitter.

So either way, Pascale reasons, betting on God seems the way to go.

But here's the thing.
Would God really honor the integrity of your faith that was based solely in the study of probability?
e.g. "THOU HAST HEDGED THY BETS CORRECTLY, WELCOME TO HEAVEN!"

I imagine he would at least leave you lingering in limbo for a long, long time.

That's got to be pretty close to hell itself, an eternal game of limbo?
Hearing that "Jack be limbo, Jack be quick" song over and over?**
That would likely be enough to push anyone over the edge and make them beat someone to death with the limbo stick, and then lose their spot in line for heaven anyway.

See? God's got a plan for everything. Even sneaky numbers geniuses.

Math.
Atheism.
Matheism.


* Unless you think wasting your life being wrong is bad.
(In which case, what if you're wrong about that?)


** What if the different levels of hell were simply determined by what song was playing continuously there?
On the Macarena level, at least you get exercise. At first.
But you keep going until you're just bones, and then your bones are used as limbo sticks.
At least even hell is getting in on the green action.

Torture.
Recycle.
Torturecycle.