Thursday, February 26, 2009

Chemotion

Chemo.
Emotion.
Chemotion.

Most people feel pretty negative about this cancer treatment.

Medicine.
Cynical.
Medicynical.

I mean, they're probably glad that it exists, but sad that it makes them bald and bed-ridden.
(Though it puts an end to certain hair troubles.)

Curbed
Bedhead.
Curbedhead.

You never hear about the rare person who really just enjoys the rest, and also turns out to look great with no hair.

Baldest.
Stupendous.
Baldestupendous.

Also, they happen to enjoy abdominal pain, bruising, constipation, dehydration, edema, fever, glaucoma, hematoma, impotence, joint pain, kidney problems, libido loss, myocarditis, nosebleeds, ototoxicity, photophobia, rhinitis, seizures, thrombocyotopenia, UTI, vertigo, weakness, xerostemia, and dozens of other alphabetical side effects that can arise. *

Symptom.
Tome.
Symptome.

A couple of the side effects that could be positive, for the glass-half-full patient:
lack of appetite (if you wanted to lose a few pounds)
chills (if you lived somewhere a bit too warm)
fertility (if you'd been trying to get pregnant)
flatulence (if you enjoy being hilarious)
sexuality (I don't know how that's a side effect, but it's listed)

Cancer.
Serious.
Cancerious.


* For the optimist, there are no symptoms starting with Q, Y, or Z!
Patient 1, Scrabble score 0.

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