Lupinocchio

Lupine.
Pinocchio.
Lupinnocchio.

A wolf who wants to be a real boy.

Like one of Mowgli's "brothers" who is jealous of his opposable thumbs.

Jungle.
Learning.
Junglearning.

Karattweiler

Karate.
Rottweiler.
Karattweiler.

A canine that will only use its very disciplined viciousness on you in self-defense.

Judo.
Dog.
Judog.*

Its bark is worse than its bite, but its roundhouse kick is worse than both of those.

Fido.
Dojo.
Fidojo.

At least it can't punch you. (Dogs don't have hands.)

Tai Chi.
Chihuahua.
Tai Chihuahua.


* This word also sounds like it can also be used as an anti-Semetic slur, for anyone out there who hates Jews and dogs alike.

Yarmulke.
Kennel.
Yarmulkennel.

Zombifido

Zombified.
Fido.
Zombifido.

An even scarier Cujo, back from the dead.

Canine.
Inescapable.
Caninescapable.

Handbasketchy

Handbasket.
Sketchy.
Handbasketchy.

Details are hazy as to why this is a means of traveling to hell.

Hades.
Destination.
Hadestination.

Even less information is available as to what sort of basket one takes to get to heaven, or if baskets are involved at all.

Heaven.
Eventual.
Heaventual.

If baskets ARE involved, then obviously split up your eggs between the hell-bound basket and the heaven-bound one.

Segregate.
Eggs.
Eggregate.

Because while all DOGS may go to heaven*, all unborn chickens apparently do not.

Omelet.
Letdown.
Omeletdown.


* Actually untrue.
At least one dog definitively does not go to heaven: Cerberus, guard of the gates of hell.

Canine.
Nein!
Canein!

Chlamydiamonds

Chlamydia.
Diamonds.
Chlamydiamonds.

NOT a girl's best friend.

(Nor man's best friend. That's a dog.
Ideally a dog with no STDs either.)

Canine.
Infected.
Caninfected.

Parrottweiler

Parrot.
Rottweiler.
Parrottweiler.

An animal that will bite someone exactly the same way you just bit them.

Copycat.
Ate.
Copycate.

So it's a bird-like dog who acts like a cat.

(See also Chimpanzebra.)

Prostitutor

Prostitute.
Tutor.
Prostitutor.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

So don't pay an old dog for sex.

Unless they learned a bunch of tricks when they were younger.

Then go for it.

Canine.
Ineptitude.
Canineptitude.

Spiderived

Spider.
Derived.
Spiderived.

Peter Parker got his crime-fighting abilities as a result of being bitten.

Arachnid.
Nip.
Arachnip.

Some see that as far-fetched, but this sort of thing definitely happens in real life as well.

For instance, if a rabid dog bites you, you get a rabid dog's ability to foam at the mouth.
It might not be the ideal super-power, but it should at least stop criminals from robbing YOU.

Mugger.
Germaphobe.
Muggermaphobe.

It might not stop the cops from coming after you, though.
Or at least animal control.

Rabies.
Beast.
Rabeast.

(That could be your super-villain name.)

Mustachihuahua

Mustachio.
Chihuahua.
Mustachihuahua.

Fancy facial hair the size of a small dog.

Or a small dog the size of a fancy moustache.

Pekingese.
Goatees.
Pekingoatees.

Bloodles

Blood.
Oodles.*
Bloodles.

Rhyming with "poodles," an equally adorable way to describe massive bleeding to distract a person with massive bleeding.

Sad irony: "bloodles" is only one letter away from "bloodless," its adjectival opposite.

e.g. "Is there a lot of blood?"
The number of "s"s** in the answer is extremely important.


* Note that this is an unorthodox usage of the word "oodles," which was coined really to only describe an amount of noodles.
But I believe "bloodles" will catch on.
e.g. "Hold on, doctor! The Red Cross is almost here with their delivery of bloodles!"

** What's the best way to write the plural of the letter "s"?
"S"s? S's? Esses? Sz? S'?
Who pluralizes the pluralizer?