Historepeat

History.
Repeat.
Historepeat.

They say that not knowing history will lead to repeating it.

But what about the parts that we WANT to repeat? Shouldn't we try and not know them?

Stop teaching about Gandhi and Martin Luther King and Einstein and Thomas Edison and Darwin!

Once we've forgotten all about them, we'll have new ones!

Maybe a Voltron combining them all: a peaceful time-traveling inspirational inventor!

(With the head of a lion! And arms that are also the heads of lions! But that used to be the heads of monkeys! Go Voltron!)

Evolve.
Voltron.
Evolvtron.

KATGIF

KATG.
TGIF.
KATGIF.

Keith and the Girl is fun.

(That's what that whole expression could stand for.)

It's a podcast that I appear on regularly enough that I feel fine saying I appear on it regularly.

This entry would probably be most appropriate if I were appearing on it today, Friday.

But sometimes the universe doesn't work perfectly.

For example, Pluto's not a planet anymore, and I'm not on the show again until this coming Tuesday. Also tomorrow for their 1000th show-xtravaganza.

But that's perfect enough, isn't it? (Except for Pluto. Sorry!*)

Podcast.
Astronomy.
Podcastronomy.


* My childhood peers will just have to content ourselves with the idea that "my very educated mother just served us nine..." without referencing what nine things she served us.

Perhaps she's educated enough to assume that we'll put it together.

Or we just all have to deal with the fact that someone stole our pickles.

Pickle.
Klepto.
Picklepto.

Independensity

Independence.
Density.
Independensity.

Our freedom's mass per unit volume.

Happy birthday, America.

The extra weight suits you. You don't look a day past 200.

4th of July.
Liar.
4th of Juliar.

Dryce

Dry.
Ice.
Dryce.

If you ever need to refer to solid carbon dioxide even faster than normal.

CO2.
Too Slow.
CO200 Slow.

Tomatom

Tomato.
Atom.
Tomatom.

The smallest component into which this fruit can be broken down.

Also known as a "to-mah-tom."

(But that might involve calling the whole thing off.)

Ketchup.
Uppity.
Ketchuppity.

Electronzoni

Electron.
Ronzoni.
Electronzoni.

Negatively charged pasta.

Perhaps it should be called anti-pasta.

Not to be confused with antipasto.

Which is the opposite of pasto.

(Pasto isn't a thing, which is why the opposite of it IS a thing.)

Antipasto.
Storytime.
Antipastorytime.

Newtiny

Newton.
Mutiny.
Newtiny.

An uprising against the rule of law of gravity.

"What goes up must come down" is going DOWN.

(Which it must, according to itself, because Newton brought it UP.)

Gravity.
Vitriol.
Gravitriol.

Relaxtion

Relax.
Action.
Relaxtion.

I sat in a Japanese garden today and got my zen on.*

Meditation.
Stationary.
Medistationary.

There was a giant bonsai tree. Maybe you'd just call it a tree.

Bonsai.
Sizable.
Bonsaizable.

Anything I was feeling unhinged about was completely washed away by the sun and shade and all-around soothing nature of nature.**

Soothing.
Hinged.
Soothinged.

Well done, Japanese.
Technology, martial arts, sushi, AND peaceful gardens?
What next?

Probably a robot that makes vegetable sushi out of a garden by using karate.

Robot.
Botanical.
Robotanical.

And/or...

Ninjitsu.
Sushi.
Ninjitsushi.


* Not my xenon, my zen on.

Though because xenon is a colorless, odorless gas, I suppose it's possible that I was getting that also.

And xenon IS used in some anesthetics, so that wouldn't conflict with a state of meditation.

Though it's also used in flash lamps, which might.

It's a versatile element.

Xenon.
Noncommittal.
Xenoncommittal.


** Anything including the mixed metaphor of being washed by the sun.

Dried? Of course.
But it was probably just drying sweat that it caused itself.
Hero and villain in one.

See? Zen.

Sunny.
Neato.
Sunneato.

Gravityranny

Gravity.
Tyranny.
Gravityranny.

What goes up MUST come down. That's what they say.

Dictatorial.
Reality.
Dictatoreality.

But what if you climbed a mountain and stayed up there until you died?

Everest.
Rest In Peace.
Everest In Peace.

And then instead of being buried, you were cremated and had your ashes launched into space?

NASA.
Ashes.
NAShes.

And you kept heading up and up and up and up?

Tragic.
Trajectory.
Tragictory.

Meanwhile, your soul is also heading upward.

Heaven.
Eventually.
Heaventually.

And you get there, and become an official cherub.

Angelic.
License.
Angelicense.

You've gone up, and didn't come down. Take that, science!

Sci-Fi.
Iffy.
Sci-Ffy.

Unless your angelic duties involved returning to Earth and help the living, guardian-style. Fine, you got me, universe.

Defeat.
Ether.
Defether.

Tipsychic

Tipsy.
Psychic.
Tipsychic.

Someone who develops ESP after a few drinks.

e.g. "I predict that I'm going to puke and fall down simultaneously."

Clairvoyant.
Antics.
Clairvoyantics.

Which sounds irresponsible, but actually creates the perfect circumstances for the drunk's child's science fair experiment, testing whether gravity applies equally to man and vomit.

Responsible.
Bulimia.
Responsibulimia.

And one final point on the subject of throwing up and predicting the future...

If a man named Ralph ralphs, does he feel as though he should have seen it coming?

Or has he likely resigned himself to the predestination of the situation, like an unavoidable prophecy that would have come to pass no matter how much care was taken to keep it from happening?
(Like the classic tragic tales of Oedipus or Final Destination.)

Oedipus.
Pukes.
Oedipukes.

Chimpanzebra

Chimpanzee.
Zebra.
Chimpanzebra.

What you get when you cross a bored zookeeper with a mad scientist.

Zoology.
Logistics.
Zoologistics.

Other animals you might get:

Flamingo. Goat. Flamingoat.
Porcupine. Rhinoceros. Porcupinoceros.
Manatee. T-Rex. Manatee-Rex.

Plus any that you can come up with.

Animalistic.
Listing.
Animalisting.

Serumor

Serum.
Rumor.
Serumor.

The results of a failed truth serum that only gives you gossip.

Faux.
Potion.
Fauxtion.

Irisks

Iris.
Risks.
Irisks.

Staring at the sun.

Solar.
Arrogance.
Solarrogance.

Becoming a pirate.

Marine.
Inexperience.
Marinexperience.

Doing scientific research on acid.*

Chemistry.
Tryouts.
Chemistryouts.

Participating in any activity post fun and games.

ESPECIALLY if said activity involves being a pirate scientist studying the effects of the sun.

Regret.
Retina.
Regretina.


* Either doing experiments with test tubes full of acid OR while on LSD.
Or both.

Acidic.
Dichotomy.
Acidichotomy.

Detestosterone

Detest.
Testosterone.
Detestosterone.

Do you think you should hate men more than you do? *
Then this is the hormone for you!

Psyche.
Chemical.
Psychemical.


* Perhaps you intellectually know about all the damage done to the world by history's patriarchal power structures which have been based on society's continual emphasizing of "manly" qualities like aggression, and yet don't find yourself on the same page emotionally.

Man.
Anger.
Manger.

Mementomology

Memento.
Entomology.
Mementomology.

The study of bugs as souvenirs.

Rememberance.
Ants.
Rememberants.

Like examining butterflies in the pages of a book...

Delicate.
Caterpillar.
Delicaterpillar.

...or gnats on the windshield of a car...

Wiper.
Pursuit.
Wipersuit.

...or some third, even more hilarious example.

Anti-Climactic.
Ticks.
Anti-Climacticks.

Tapestricentennial

Tapestry.
Tricentennial.
Tapestricentennial.

I wasn't sure the best word ending in "-try," to mark this 300th post.
So here is a collection representing the journey of possibilities that was traveled.

Entry: Come on in...
Carpentry: I constructed this for you
Artistry: with care and thought
Chemistry: to create a connection
Poetry: expressed only through words
Circuitry: typed into computers
Industry: created by large corporations
Idolatry: which society worships
Ministry: to the dismay of religion
Ancestry: which historically
Psychiatry: could use some help
Dentistry: with flossing
Bigotry: intolerance out of its being.
Toiletry: How did we end up here?

Happy 300, everyone, whether you like it or not!

Fun.
Unfun.
Funfun!

Microscopilots

Microscope.
Copilots.
Microscopilots.

Scientists use a certain device to look at tiny organisms.

But tiny organisms can use the device to look back up at scientists, too.

These one-celled scientists call it a "macroscope." *

Amoeba.
Balance.
Amoebalance.


* They would call it a "telescope" if they were smarter.

If only they had smarter subjects to learn from with their macroscopes.

Stupid scientists.

Sciences.
Cesspool.
Sciencesspool.

Buffetus

Buffet.
Fetus.
Buffetus.

It may someday be possible to select your child's characteristics before they are born, to make sure they are as healthy as possible.

Prenatal.
Talisman.
Prenatalisman.

It makes sense--we can purify water these days, why not genetic material?
Just put the DNA through a Brita.

Water.
Terrific.
Waterrific.

Potential diseases could be eliminated. Also freckles.
All kinds of horrible things.

Then, beyond health concerns, it might be additionally possible to choose things like your child's hair color or height or the shape of their nose, perhaps to make them look like an honored dead relative (before they were dead).

Premortem.
Temperament.
Premortemperament.

But is it really up to us to determine what we want our children to be like?
Who are we to make such decisions?

Shouldn't it really be up to the beauty and fashion industries once they're born and ready to be brainwashed by movies and magazines?

How will the reality television industry survive?
What will happen to all the shows where people get plastic surgery when they want to look like celebrities, or when their friends want them to be less ugly?

Celebrity.
Retarded.
Celebritarded.

Did you think about that, science?
You're supposed to be the thing that cares about thinking.

But what kind of world are you thinking us into?

Future.
Turmoil.
Futurmoil.

But fear not, world. Fear not, science.
Economics will handle this:
Because not everyone will be able to afford the wondrous new God-ignoring, child-fixing technology that's available, nothing will change in the big picture, in the grand scheme, in the unnatural order of things.

The rich get richer, and the poor stay uglier.

Except for the lucky few who are blessed by the grace of God to turn out exactly how society demands they be.

Hallelujah.
Lucrative.
Hallelucrative.

Sandwichthyology

Sandwich.
Ichthyology.
Sandwichthyology.

The scientific study of tuna on rye.

Tuna.
Unappetizing.
Tunappetizing.

Doppelganger Management

Doppelganger.
Anger Management.
Doppelganger Management.

Don't freak out if your evil twin wreaks havoc on your life.

Getting mad never solved anyone's problems, except for the Hulk.
But remember that it also created new problems for him as well.

Sure, it solved the issue of bullets hurting him, but what about the trouble of how many pairs of pants he had to buy? Or steal, probably.

Of course, if he didn't turn into the Hulk and got shot with bullets, he would probably bleed all over his pants and need new ones anyway.
(Along with the rest of a suit to be buried in.)

So, to sum up:
Don't freak out, unless you're the Hulk.
Then it might be okay, but still likely a mixed bag.
(Maybe try to solve your problems with science first. Be smart.)

Banner.
Nerd.
Bannerd.