Decembrrrrr.

December.
Brrrrr.
Decembrrrrr.

It's too cold to even come up with a good one of these.

Unless.
Esoteric.
Unlessoteric.

Bloggerbil

Blogger.
Gerbil.
Bloggerbil.

"Today I ran on a wheelie thing. Didn't get very far."

Unless that's just for hamsters.

In which case I was just testing you, like a guinea pig. Totally.

Rodent.
Entirely.
Rodentirely.

Combozo

Combos.
Bozo.
Combozo.

Some clown who puts things together, like words maybe.

(And perhaps a more appropriate title for this blog, in hindsight.)

Blogger.
Grrrrrrr.
Bloggrrrrrrrr.

Augusto

August.
Gusto.
Augusto.

What I have not been attacking this blog with so far this month.

But just wait, everything can change with one post that talks about everything changing!

Apparent.
Enthusiasm.
Apparenthusiasm.

Awkwairdo

Awkward.
Weirdo.
Awkwairdo.

This entry.

Or me for writing it.

Blog.
Logic.
Blogic.

Feedbaction

Feedback.
Action.
Feedbaction.

Things have been going well since I stopped teetering on the brink of Twitter and fell/jumped into it.

Twitter.
Teetering.
Tweetering.

For example, comedian Justin Morgan (@JMorgComedy) had this to say at/about/to/[insert other relevant or irrelevant prepositions] me and my aforementioned Twitter:

"by far and away the best tweets on the twitter"

and

"the man is a genius, one of my favorite comics, an all around delight & the funniest tweets on twitter."

So nice he said it twice.*
And got me to use that "so nice he said it twice" phrase, which makes me feel dirty like lice.

See? I can rhyme, too!

AND, I can stop rhyming. (You're welcome for at least one of those.)

And thanks, Mr. Morgan!

To close out this post, here's a word combo that DOESN'T apply to this fine gentleman's generosity:

Justin.
Stingy.
Justingy.


* And with slightly different phrasing, so it's clear it wasn't just cut and pasted.
He THOUGHT it twice, and he TYPED it twice.
Nice.

Rhymes.
Messenger.
Rhymessenger.

Twitterrifying

Twitter.
Terrifying.
Twitterrifying.*

Finally, your wish is granted (if you were one of the handful of people wishing that I would join Twitter).

Genie.
Needy.
Genieedy.


* Changed from "Twitterrific" after learning someone already came up with that officially.

Sorries!
Reason.
Sorrieason.

Harlequinticentennial

Harlequin.
Quinticentennial.
Harlequinticentennial.

500 posts of buffoonery!

We made it!

Thanks for being a part of it!

Here's to 500 more!

But not right now!

One at a time!

Slow and steady wins the race!

Especially when you're not even racing against anyone.

Tortoise.
Isolation.
Tortoisolation.

Disgustingy

Disgusting.
Stingy.
Disgustingy.

I've kept a couple blog ideas to myself in the past, not sharing them because they might have been a little gross or not exactly what I wanted to put forth here, but I decided to be open and honest and uncensored about them, so you're welcome or I'm sorry.

Bulimia.
Emaciated.
Bulimaciated.

Fairly self-explanatory, not too bad.

Barfing.
Fingers.
Barfingers.

A little worse?

Just one more...

Clandestine.
Stink.
Clandestink.

A silent fart.

(I don't even think that one's particularly hard to handle, but it's more just the fact that it's a fart joke that I'm ashamed of. Can one be creative with this bodily function? Carlin certainly discussed it at great length over his critically acclaimed career. Not that I'm saying my fart jokes are on par with his fart jokes. But at least a standard exists, perhaps.)

Fart.
Artsy.
Fartsy.

Tobaccolades

Tobacco.
Accolades.
Tobaccolades.

I just read that of adolescents who try cigarettes, only one-third of them go on to become regular smokers.

Which makes sense*, given that a synonym for that age group makes up only one-third of the name of tobacco's addictive agent.**

Nicotine.
Teenager.
Nicoteenager.


* It makes sense if language correlates to reality in random ways, that is.

Arbitrary.
Rarity.
Arbitrarity.

** Syllabically, that is.

Spelling-wise, it makes up half.

But most people care more about speaking than writing, right? (He asked, in writing.)

Bore.
Orthography.
Borethography.

Spellcheckler

Spellcheck.
Heckler.
Spellcheckler.

When Microsoft Word yells at you because it doesn't get your style.

Capitalize this, punctuate that, format this, need help with that?
LET ME JUST DO MY ACT!

Main difference between computer and living person heckling:
real life heckler is probably doing so because they're drunk.
robot heckler is probably doing so because YOU're drunk.*

Alcohol.
Asshole.
Alc-Hole.**


* Oh, you don't like that I capitalized the "YOU" but not the "re" in "YOU're," eh, Blogger program?
It's called artistic license, asshole.

Artistic.
Ticked Off.
Artisticked Off.

(I'm not really angry or drunk right now--and this is actually a perfect example of the situation I'm describing here.
So thanks, computer.
Sometimes we CAN work together, to demonstrate how sometimes we CAN'T work together.)

Robo.
Bonding.
Robonding.


** "Alc-Hole" doesn't follow this website's standard rules for combining words that I routinely break anyway, but it seems like too useful a word to ignore.

e.g. "Is that guy nice?"
"He's fine when he's sober, but he can be a real Alc-Hole."

Unnecessary.
Explanation.
Unnecexplanation.

Miyagit-R-Done

Miyagi.
Git-R-Done.
Miyagit-R-Done.*

How Larry the Cable Guy attained enlightenment.

Buddha.
Hardly.
Buddhardly.


* A sad state of technological affairs:
This program does not recognize the word "Miyagi," but has no problem with "Git-R-Done."

Priority.
Typos.
Prioritypos.

Quadricentennialways

Quadricentennial.
Always.
Quadricentennialways.

It's that time again.

The number of posts here is once more divisible by one hundred, and while Blogger may not know the word "quadricentennial," I hold that it is a valid numerical prefix, and Merriam-Webster agrees.

Validity.
Ditto.
Validitto.

So we soldier forth. (Or we soldier four hundredth, actually.)

Here's to the next four-hundred, and the four-hundred after that, and however many it will take before the prefixes get too ridiculous or non-existent to continue this tradition...

Silly.
Ellipses.
Sillipses.

Hiatussle

Hiatus.
Tussle.
Hiatussle.

I've been on somewhat of a vacation from my home and from the internet, and I'm sure it's been quite a struggle for all of us.

For that I am sorry.

Apologies.
Blog.
Apoblogies*.

I've been in Pennsylvania, where they do have electricity and computers**, but they also have things that distract from those things, like good friends and family and walks and nice weather***, whose gravity have caused me to pull away from this virtual world for more than normal.

Pittsburgh.
Urgent.
Pittsburgent.

So I just wanted to check in and make sure the internet knew I wasn't dead...put down your phones, relax, stop skyping the police, etc.

Pesky.
Skype.
Peskype.

I will be back, with or without a vengeance (depending if anything bad happens that requires avenging, but I'll definitely be writing a lot, and continuing to take certain phrases as unnecessarily literally as possible), blogging regularly until the next time I don't.

Forever.
Virtual.
Forevertual.


* See how rusty I am after a full day or more away?

(Please accept these additional e-pologies about those first e-pologies, and I will aim for continued improvement as much as possible.)

Rehab.
Absent.
Rehabsent.


* Though not everywhere.

Amish.
Missing.
Amissing.


** Nice weather isn't unique to Pennsylvania, of course, but when you add in the fact that spring just sprang...

Recent.
Equinox
Recuinox.

Boardwawkward

Boardwalk.
Awkward.
Boardwawkward.

When I was a child, I was apparently very good at Monopoly.

Relatives suggested that I should become an accountant when I grew up because of this.
(Also because I was Jewish.* Or at least Jewy-ish.)

Jewish.
Wishy-Washy.
Jewishy-Washy.

But I honestly wasn't interested in real life banking.

I knew I was supposed to want to do something to make money, but I didn't know what to do.

Employment.
Mentality.
Employmentality.

So I decided that I wanted someone to hire me to just be myself.
Someone rich who could afford to support my lifestyle** in exchange for being entertained.

Financier.
Serious.
Financierious.

Like a court jester to a king.
(But with less chance of having my head cut off.)

Clown.
Ownership.
Clownership.

And look--that stupid and beautiful dream has sort of come true!

I jest for a living, and I occasionally go to court.
(There's some of that jesting!)

And sure, I might not work for a specific king, but I do entertain masses of people, and in a democracy, masses of people are king, right?
(I'm no political-ologist.)

Uncommon.
Monarch.
Uncommonarch.

So my wildest Monopoly dreams have come true...
I travel by thimble, my career has passed Go and I'm sure I've collected at least $200.

(Sorry I don't know the exact amount--I'm not an accountant.)

Ecstatic.
Statistics.
Ecstatistics.


* Jewish grandmothers are mandated to push for their children to join our holy trinity of stereotypes: the doctor, the lawyer, and the accountant.

Kosher.
Heroes.
Kosheroes.


** My lifestyle at the time consisted mainly of Spider-Man comic books.
Financing it would have been a bargain.
(Sorry, potential financiers who don't have time machines.)

Chronology.
Apology.
Chronopology.***

I've come a long way since then.
Now my lifestyle is comic books AND Netflix.
(And blogging, but that's on me.)


*** Monopoly's sequel.

Where you magically travel back in time to make good financial investments.

Capitalism.
Talisman.
Capitalisman.

Kuwaighteen

Kuwait.
Eighteen.
Kuwaighteen.

The answer to the question, "Can you combine the name of the latest country to have a representative visit this blog with the number of total countries that now fit that bill?"

("Yes" would have also been an acceptable response to that question.)

Technically.
Allowable.
Technicallowable.

Falconnoisseur

Falcon.
Connoisseur.
Falconnoisseur.

Someone from a new country has entered this little corner of the internet.
Guess from where?

Malta.
Tada!
Maltada!

Cleverbose

Clever.
Verbose.
Cleverbose.

A description of this blog by Sajizzle from the Keith and the Girl radio show web forum.

Thanks, Sajizzle!
That's very clever and not verbose of you.

Clever.
Very.
Clevery.

Bicentennialright

Bicentennial.
Alright.
Bicentennialright.

Welcome to our 200th post!

CC in Roman numerals, which stands for "Cool, cool" in English alphabeticals.

Thanks for reading the letters and counting the numbers.
Great work, everyone.

Alphanumeric.
Meritorious.
Alphanumeritorious.

Sloventilation

Slovenia.
Ventilation.
Sloventilation.

The internet finally has enough airflow for this blog to have reached a Slovenian.

Also at least one German.
And hopefully more to come.

Germany.
Manifold.
Germanifold.