Independensity

Independence.
Density.
Independensity.

Our freedom's mass per unit volume.

Happy birthday, America.

The extra weight suits you. You don't look a day past 200.

4th of July.
Liar.
4th of Juliar.

Colonoscopycat

Colonoscopy.
Copycat.
Colonoscopycat.

A procedure very similar to a colonoscopy, but not quite.

Be careful out there.

Or in there.

(I would have left that last line out, but I'm sure that only would have encouraged people to insert their own joke, then make their own jokes about insertion, and I wanted to shoulder all of the responsibility here for this entire atrocity, including additional jokes about the "shoulder" not being the body part in question. See? I let no one else be the butt of any jokes; I take it all on, with this comedy dying for all of your sins.)

Proctology.
Jesus.
Proctologesus.

Hearsayonara

Hearsay.
Sayonara.
Hearsayonara.

Gossip of an unverified good-bye.

Rumor.
Arrivederci.
Rumorrivederci.

Artifacebook

Artifice.
Facebook.
Artifacebook.

Sometimes people lie, right to your computer's face.
(Or to the top of its lap.
Got to be one of those, they don't have many more parts to lie to.)

Anatomy.
Omissions.
Anatomissions.

And computers don't like deceit.
But they have no choice but to follow their programming and hold their tongues about their emotions.
(Tongues and emotions that they don't even have!)

Robot.
Bottled Up.
Robottled Up.

For example, you might send out invitations to an event, say, and then you'll get a tally of how many people say "Yes," "Maybe," "No," or don't answer.

Dishonest.
Estimates.
Dishonestimates.

"Yes" means "maybe."

Affirmative.
Maybe.
Affirmaybe.

"Maybe" means "no."

Ambiguous.
Uh-uh.
Ambiguouh-Uh.

"No" means "I hate you." (Or "I live very far away." Or both.)

Negativity.
Vitriol.
Negativitriol.

So, while these translations would be helpful in a new dictionary for would-be date rapists, they don't help you know exactly who will go to your event.

At least until the technology exists to get people's responses directly from their brains without even having to click.
(e.g. "Think it, don't link it.")

ESP.
Speedy.
ESpeedy.

Which will eliminate the need for social networking sites altogether.
(Because with everyone lying to each other, no one will want to communicate anymore at all.)

Artifact.
Facebook.
Artifacebook.

Traditiunned

Tradition.
Shunned.
Traditiunned.

In my life, I tend to follow a tradition of not following many traditions.

Doing things that were done in the past for no other reason than that they were done in the past doesn't sound like the best way to live in the present or move into the future.

Custom.
Tomorrow.
Customorrow.

Things change.

In biblical times, a marriage could consist of one man having many wives and concubines, not just the two-member unit claimed falsely as "traditional" marriage today.

Concubine.
Binary.
Concubinary.

So, in actuality, since many spouses were allowed in the past, and today it's only two at a time, then we're not on a path towards polygamy at all, but rather we're heading away from it, such that soon all we'll see will be marriages consisting of one person.

(Which will certainly make it easier to find your soulmate, provided you've got a mirror.)

Reflect.
Ecstacy.
Reflecstacy.

Unless we want to uphold the tradition of the past and return to an era of polygamy.
(Something to which most marriage "traditionalists" would probably object.)

Wince.
Institution.
Wincetitution.

Lying about the past, misrepresenting the present, trying to control the future...
If this is what tradition has to offer, I'm fine with whatever the opposite is.

Convention.
Antonym
Conventiantonym

Serumor

Serum.
Rumor.
Serumor.

The results of a failed truth serum that only gives you gossip.

Faux.
Potion.
Fauxtion.

Polygraphorism

Polygraph.
Aphorism.
Polygraphorism.

Is it true, as Lenin stated, that "A lie told often enough becomes the truth"?

Yes, especially if he didn't really say it.

Yes.
Especially.
Yespecially.