Spellcheckler

Spellcheck.
Heckler.
Spellcheckler.

When Microsoft Word yells at you because it doesn't get your style.

Capitalize this, punctuate that, format this, need help with that?
LET ME JUST DO MY ACT!

Main difference between computer and living person heckling:
real life heckler is probably doing so because they're drunk.
robot heckler is probably doing so because YOU're drunk.*

Alcohol.
Asshole.
Alc-Hole.**


* Oh, you don't like that I capitalized the "YOU" but not the "re" in "YOU're," eh, Blogger program?
It's called artistic license, asshole.

Artistic.
Ticked Off.
Artisticked Off.

(I'm not really angry or drunk right now--and this is actually a perfect example of the situation I'm describing here.
So thanks, computer.
Sometimes we CAN work together, to demonstrate how sometimes we CAN'T work together.)

Robo.
Bonding.
Robonding.


** "Alc-Hole" doesn't follow this website's standard rules for combining words that I routinely break anyway, but it seems like too useful a word to ignore.

e.g. "Is that guy nice?"
"He's fine when he's sober, but he can be a real Alc-Hole."

Unnecessary.
Explanation.
Unnecexplanation.

Tapestricentennial

Tapestry.
Tricentennial.
Tapestricentennial.

I wasn't sure the best word ending in "-try," to mark this 300th post.
So here is a collection representing the journey of possibilities that was traveled.

Entry: Come on in...
Carpentry: I constructed this for you
Artistry: with care and thought
Chemistry: to create a connection
Poetry: expressed only through words
Circuitry: typed into computers
Industry: created by large corporations
Idolatry: which society worships
Ministry: to the dismay of religion
Ancestry: which historically
Psychiatry: could use some help
Dentistry: with flossing
Bigotry: intolerance out of its being.
Toiletry: How did we end up here?

Happy 300, everyone, whether you like it or not!

Fun.
Unfun.
Funfun!

Michelangell-o Shots

Michelangelo.
Jell-o Shots.
Michelangell-o Shots.

Maybe he was drunk when he painted the Sistine Chapel.

There's always room for Jell-o.*
Especially in a giant room full of God.

Deity.
Eatery.
Deitery.

Secretina

Secret.
Retina.
Secretina.

The mystical third eye that can lead to higher consciousness.

If you can't see it, just open your mind. Or your third eye.

Or just draw it on with a magical marker.

Smart.
Artist.
Smartist.

Careerie

Career.
Eerie.
Careerie.

Ghost busting for a living.

Seems like a scary job, but basically you're just telling someone that they can cut out of work early.
Because spirits are always only hanging around to complete some "unfinished business."
And all they have to be told is that their work is done.
No more chain-clanking, no more terror-inducing, no more blood-splattering necessary.*

Time to punch out. Forever.
No big.

Slime.
Timesheet.
Slimesheet.


* That last one especially true for the ghost of Jackson Pollack.

Paint.
Intangible.
Paintangible.

Braggartistry

Braggart.
Artistry.
Braggartistry.

Sometimes artists are pitted against one another...
Battles of the bands.
Comedy competitions.
Reality television shows.
Bum fights.

Who will win at art?
Who will be judged to score the highest number of talent points?
Who will be the voted president of creativity?
Whose life blood will be triumphant?

I have a new idea for a reality show, and here are some of the working title ideas:
"Deal or No Integrity"
"Last Moral Fiber Standing"
"Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, but with Principles instead of Dollars?"

The show will search for artists who are the most pure of intent in their creations.
Then it will put them in a house and have them destroy each other.

The way to audition for the show is to not show up for auditions.
(I'll see you there!)

PS It's going to be fixed. The bum wins.

American Idol.
I don't.
American Idon't.