Gandolfinished

Gandolfini.
Finished.
Gandolfinished.

Is he? Haven't seen him around much since The Sopranos ended.

Mafia.
Finale.
Mafinale.

But a glance at his IMDB page says he's still doing fine, working regularly.

Cinema.
Manifold.
Cinemanifold.

Also, the most of his name sounds like he's a wizard from Lord of the Rings, so perhaps it's magic that's sustaining him, as the Italian Gandalf.

Ad Hoc.
Hocus Pocus.
Ad Hocus Pocus.

Netflickety-Split

Netflix.
Lickety-Split.
Netflickety-Split.

This service has a feature that allows you to view non-stop an unlimited quantity of movies online.

Helper.
Perpetual.
Helperpetual.

It's called "Watch Instantly," or as I say, "Watch Constantly."
(Because I am a champion at activities that require no movement.
Like creating synonyms and watching movies.*)

Cinema.
Master.
Cinemaster.

Other names the feature goes by:

Go Outside Infrequently.
Shower Reluctantly.
Interact with Others Hesitantly.
Waste Time Blatantly, Pleasantly, and Abundantly.
Ignore All Other Aspects of Life Besides Movies Predominantly.

Watcher.
Hero.
Watchero.


* Ironic that a movie is an activity that requires no movement.**
Especially given that if you scramble the letters in "movie" you get "I move."

Viewing.
Winner.
Viewinner.


** Other than visual scanning.

Mobilize.
Eyes.
Mobileyes.

Moviehicle

Movie.
Vehicle.
Moviehicle.

Sometimes a film will be referred to as a vehicle for a certain actor.

That could be confusing under certain circumstances:
e.g. "In this scene in the Vin Diesel vehicle, Vin Diesel's vehicle is fueled with diesel. Diesel vin*."

Gasoline.
Linear.
Gasolinear.

This is confusing for a few reasons, most salient of which is probably "Why is someone talking about Vin Diesel?"
(Unless to ask that very question.)

Recursivity.
Vin Diesel.
Recursvin Diesel.


* That last part only makes sense if the person speaking accidentally uses the French word for wine instead of gas.
Or purposefully does so.
It could happen.

Once a person decides to review a Vin Diesel movie, I'd say anything is possible.

Especially if that person already has wine on the brain, literally and figuratively, which could also explain why they A) saw the movie, and B) are now talking about it.

Talk.
Alcohol.
Talkohol.

Synonames

Synonym.
Names.
Synonames.

Word combinations where either of the two parts would have sufficed alone:

Happy.
Peachy.
Happeachy.

Pleased to be pleased.

Darren.
Aronofsky.
Darronofsky.

Good for if he had to provide his first and last name in a big hurry.

Rendez-vous.
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Rendez-voulez vous...

You get the idea.

(See also Guesstimatrix.)

Fiscalamity

Fiscal.
Calamity.
Fiscalamity.

You might notice that I haven't posted much about the current economic crisis, mostly because I don't fully understand the current economic crisis.

Economy.
Omission.
Economission.

Some people don't have money. I get that.
But I don't really get where money came from.*
I hear in the beginning it was based in gold, but not anymore.

Doubloons.
Onset.
Doubloonset.

Actually, in the beginning, there was probably no gold or money or anything.**

People just gathered and hunted for their own stuff, and then maybe traded stuff for other stuff. What a ridiculous idea.

Finance.
Antiquated.
Financiquated.

Someone must have decided that this system of direct trading wasn't good enough.
And that's when money must have come about.

There was no money, and then there WAS money.
So let's just do that again. Problem solved!

Magical.
Calculation.
Magicalculation.

I'm not sure how it happened, though. I'm not a historian either.
So, how about people who have lots of money just give some of that money to people who don't have enough money?

Too simple and reasonable or un-American? Okay, how about this instead?

Maybe poor people can put their poorness up for bidding on an online auction, and rich people can purchase it.
Because for the person who thinks they have everything money can buy, poorness is the one thing they definitely DON'T have, and thus should be the thing they want the most.

Problem double-solved!

E-Bay.
Bailout.
E-Bailout.


* Maybe from a pit? I think I heard about that in a movie.

Cinema.
Money.
Cinemoney.

Sounds tasty.


** In the beginning, the first thing there was, was light (as I understand it).
THEN gold.

Light from god, money from the devil.
(In the form of an apple, which probably just stood in for gold by way of the barter system. Like I said, it's complicated and I don't fully understand financial dealings. But I do know that I like apples.)

Fruitful.
Fulfillment.
Fruitfulfillment.

Tipsychic

Tipsy.
Psychic.
Tipsychic.

Someone who develops ESP after a few drinks.

e.g. "I predict that I'm going to puke and fall down simultaneously."

Clairvoyant.
Antics.
Clairvoyantics.

Which sounds irresponsible, but actually creates the perfect circumstances for the drunk's child's science fair experiment, testing whether gravity applies equally to man and vomit.

Responsible.
Bulimia.
Responsibulimia.

And one final point on the subject of throwing up and predicting the future...

If a man named Ralph ralphs, does he feel as though he should have seen it coming?

Or has he likely resigned himself to the predestination of the situation, like an unavoidable prophecy that would have come to pass no matter how much care was taken to keep it from happening?
(Like the classic tragic tales of Oedipus or Final Destination.)

Oedipus.
Pukes.
Oedipukes.

Cinemesis

Cinema.
Nemesis.
Cinemesis.

Suppose you're a huge movie buff.
And also let's say you believe in Hell, like for realsies.

Given those facts, do you think that if you end up there, at least part of you will be really impressed with what seem to be amazing special effects?

Inferno.
Novice.
Infernovice.

e.g. "You can seriously feel these flames, so much better than Imax,"
or "That guy REALLY looks like he's half goat."

Or do you think there's a chance that the guy in charge will be more like a cartoon devil?

Anime.
Maybe.
Animaybe.

Or is it more likely that the suffering Hell delivers upon you is less literal and less animated?
Perhaps the simple result of the absence of God's presence, light, and love?
No physical torture. No flames. No demons in your face.

In other words, no plot, no acting, no special effects.
Definitely no popcorn.

To the film buff?
Hell.

Raisinet.
Netherworld.
Raisinetherworld.

Babelittle

Babel.
Belittle.
Babelittle.

People tried to build a tower up to heaven.
God (worried they would succeed?) destroyed the tower.

Deconstruct.
Ruckus.
Deconstruckus.

This must have been back when heaven was actually located on the clouds, before it relocated to space where we know it is today.

Paradise.
Distant.
Paradistant.

God didn't stop there. He also made everyone speak different languages, so they wouldn't be able to reconnect and restart the Babel project.*

Language.
Aggravated.
Languaggravated.

Which is why it seems strange when people are strongly patriotic, strongly xenophobic, AND strongly religious.
e.g. "Don't come to America, land of Jesus, until you speak English like God intended."

Patriotism.
Autism.
Patriautism.

Because God was the one who made everyone speak different, remember?**

(Which means he was also the one who made everyone THINK different as well.
Which led to the famous Apple slogan that the snake used on Eve.
Which means that Steve Jobs is the devil?***

Apple.
Pleased.
Appleased.)




* And it worked. They didn't even end up making the MOVIE "Babel" for thousands of years, let alone attempt an actual tower again.

Hollywood.
Wouldn't.
Hollywouldn't.


** I just said it. You got it.

Listen.
Tenacious.
Listenacious.


*** And Ipods are his evil tools.

Nano.
Anointed
Nanointed.

Pekaraoke

Pekar.
Karaoke.
Pekaraoke.

Singing along to American Splendor.

The movie, using the graphic novels as lyrics.

Biographer.
Harvey.
Biographarvey.

Spoilert

Spoiler.
Alert.
Spoilert.

Don't read this if you don't want to know what it is.
(Which is a more efficient way of saying "spoiler alert.") *

Too late. You're doing it.
(Saving syllables, time, and energy, that's what you're doing!)

Syllables.
Lessons.
Syllablessons.


* "Spoilert" is the more efficient way of saying "spoiler alert," that is.
"Don't read this if you don't want to know what it is" is the LESS efficient way of saying it.

Clarify.
Iffily.**
Clariffily.


** The adverbial form of "iffy."

Adverb.
Verbose.
Adverbose.

Grandmanure

Grandma.
Manure.
Grandmanure.

I was telling my grandmother about my recent trip to Minnesota.
She responded, "Minnesota? You're all over the place! Like horse manure!"

It's important to note that my grandmother does not live anywhere that's full of horse manure (or any type of manure).
She does not live on a farm.
She does not live in an outhouse.
She does not live in a house made of manure.
She does not live on the set of Jackass.
She does not live on the set of any of the Back to the Future movies.
She does not live on the set of the new crossover sequel called Jackass to the Future.
(That I know of.
She could be keeping it under raps, Hollywood-style.)

The point is, I don't think horse manure should be her reference point for something that's ubiquitous, when other options exist.
(I think manure should always be the last resort when other options exist.)

How about, "You're all over the place! Like Starbucks!"

Which still evokes the ESSENCE of manure, but with more subtlety and grace.

Cappucino.
Innocuous.
Cappucinnocuous.

Platomic

Plato.
Atomic.
Platomic.

Describing what seems like the ideal form of a relationship, but then blows up and you're just friends.

Like if you play "When Harry Met Sally" backwards.*

Philosophy.
Sophisticated.
Philosophisticated.



* Also, Sally is played by Socrates.

Socrates.
Tease.
Socratease.

Hungreedy

Hungry.
Greedy.
Hungreedy.

Two of the seven deadly sins unite.
(In a gambit designed to eat all the money, it would seem.)

What if others joined forces?

Jealousy.
Ego.
Jealousego.

That's Envy and Pride... like a buddy cop movie (in the spirit of Turner and Hooch) that starts with the two not having any common ground, but ends with a mutual respect that sequels will only ignore when they start over.
e.g. "I envy you, Pride. You're so proud."
"I am proud. Proud to be envied by you."
"Woof."
"Quiet, Hooch."

And the other sins...

Lust.
Sloth.
Wrath.
Luslowrath.

(Sloth leading the charge on this lazy combination.)


Coming soon, this post's sequel, 7 Deadly Sins vs. 7 Dwarves:
Grumpiness takes on Wrath.
Pride destroys Bashful.
Happy and Lust get along just fine.
Same for Sloth and Sleepy.
Dopey faces the wrong way against Gluttony and Greed.
Hooch says "Woof."
Something hilarious and poignant about Envy and Sneezy.
Then Doc heals everyone, and they join forces to taken on the 7 wonders of the world. (Sequel sequel!)

Cinemanation

Cinema.
Emanation.
Cinemanation.

I once participated in a movie trivia competition wherein part of the competition was to come up with the best movie-related team name.
I did not win the main competition (that would have involved knowing lots of movie trivia), but I did indeed come up with the winning team name.

That name was "Con Air Force One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Next Friday the Thirteenth Warriors."

Other similar options that were considered:
The Day After Tomorrow Never Dies
It's a Wonderful Life is Beautiful
1776 Days, Seven Nights
Terminator 2: Judgment Dayzed and Confused
Throw Momma from the Trainspotting
Die Hard Day's Night
Creature from the Black Lagoonies.
Wall-E.T.

None of them were as big as the winner.
Not that it's size of something that matters.
It's the intricacy of the connections between the things that are written on something that matters.
So, fancy tattoos.