Daedalust

Daedalus.
Lust.
Daedalust.

The passion one feels for an inventor.

Especially an inventor who can make you a cow suit so you can sleep with a bull that you also have passion for.

If only the inventor was also a bull, like the story is. (Take that, mythology.)

Beau.
Bovine.
Beauvine.

Tipsychic

Tipsy.
Psychic.
Tipsychic.

Someone who develops ESP after a few drinks.

e.g. "I predict that I'm going to puke and fall down simultaneously."

Clairvoyant.
Antics.
Clairvoyantics.

Which sounds irresponsible, but actually creates the perfect circumstances for the drunk's child's science fair experiment, testing whether gravity applies equally to man and vomit.

Responsible.
Bulimia.
Responsibulimia.

And one final point on the subject of throwing up and predicting the future...

If a man named Ralph ralphs, does he feel as though he should have seen it coming?

Or has he likely resigned himself to the predestination of the situation, like an unavoidable prophecy that would have come to pass no matter how much care was taken to keep it from happening?
(Like the classic tragic tales of Oedipus or Final Destination.)

Oedipus.
Pukes.
Oedipukes.

Knowthing

Know.
Nothing.
Knowthing.

Socrates and Confucius both claimed that true knowledge was in knowing the extent of one's ignorance.

So if they DIDN'T know that, then they would have been even wiser.

Socrates.
Confucius.
So Confused.

(See also Socratesty.)

Theseuseless

Theseus.
Useless.
Theseuseless.

Sure, he SAYS he killed the Minotaur.

But did anyone see it happen?

He could have just killed a dude and a bull and then glued their parts together.

And then taken the leftovers and made a makeshift centaur.*

Resourceful.
Foolish.
Resourcefoolish.


* If "taurus" means bull, why doesn't "centaur" mean 100 bulls?
Why does it mean half man, half horse?

That's bull.
Times 100.

Aha!

Kleptolemy

Klepto.
Ptolemy.
Kleptolemy.

He stole the idea that the earth was at the center of the universe, probably from Aristotle.

So they both got an "F" from God, who could see that they had cheated off one another.

Also, they both got the answer wrong, which is deserving of an "F" legitimately.

Wrong.
Ongoing.
Wrongoing.

"A" for effort? I've never understood that.
There's no "A" anywhere in effort.

But you know what there are? Two "F"s.
So that's what they got.

Two "F"s for effort.

Attempt.
Empty.
Attempty.

Also, Ptolemy gets one more "F" for spelling his name wrong.

In fact, the "P" in his name is just an "F" that he tried to cover up by changing on his report card so his parents wouldn't be mad.

Tastyx

Tasty.
Styx.
Tastyx.

It might be delicious, but it's probably best to avoid drinking from the river that brings you to the underworld, unless you're literally dying of thirst and you'll end up there anyway.

Hades.
Desperate.
Hadesperate.

Achilles got dunked in the river, and see what eventually happened to him...

Achilles.
Lesson.
Achillesson.

So, if you must drink river water, try one that doesn't border the land of the dead.

Mississippi.
Sippy-cup.
Mississippy-cup.

Gorilliad

Gorilla.
Iliad.
Gorilliad.

Homer's classic tale of the Trojan War if it were fought by apes.