Independence.
Density.
Independensity.
Our freedom's mass per unit volume.
Happy birthday, America.
The extra weight suits you. You don't look a day past 200.
4th of July.
Liar.
4th of Juliar.
Showing posts with label america. Show all posts
Showing posts with label america. Show all posts
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Cryogenixon
Cryogenics.
Nixon.
Cryogenixon.
What if Tricky Dick wasn't really dead, but just frozen?
That would be really tricky.
However, if you're really tricky, 1) you don't put "tricky" in your nickname, that gives it away, and 2) you don't get caught stealing.
My Country 'Tis of Thee.
Thievery.
My Country 'Tis of Thievery.
Nixon.
Cryogenixon.
What if Tricky Dick wasn't really dead, but just frozen?
That would be really tricky.
However, if you're really tricky, 1) you don't put "tricky" in your nickname, that gives it away, and 2) you don't get caught stealing.
My Country 'Tis of Thee.
Thievery.
My Country 'Tis of Thievery.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Millmore
Millard.
Fillmore.
Millmore.
We already spend so little time talking about this guy.
Why not cut down even more?
Two syllables for the price of three!
Unimpress.
President.
Unimpresident.
Fillmore.
Millmore.
We already spend so little time talking about this guy.
Why not cut down even more?
Two syllables for the price of three!
Unimpress.
President.
Unimpresident.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Punctuatindependence
Punctuatin'.
Independence.
Punctuatindependence.
A declarative statement ends with a period.
An interrogative one ends with a question mark.
An exclamation ends with an exclamation point.*
Makes one wonder why our country was born with a "Declaration of Independence," when it seems like an exclamation might have been more appropriate.**
(Seems like something that they might have wanted to get more excited about.)
Could have been worse, though.
At least we didn't start our country with an interrogation of independence.
e.g. "Independence, where were you on the evening of July 4, 1776?"
Freedom.
Domination.
Freedomination.
* They got a little lazy on this name, it seems.
Perhaps coming up with the other two was exhausting.
Tired.
Redundant.
Tiredundant.
** The Exclamation of Independence would have started out, "Wheeeeee!, the people..."
Exclaim.
Imagination.
Exclaimagination.
Independence.
Punctuatindependence.
A declarative statement ends with a period.
An interrogative one ends with a question mark.
An exclamation ends with an exclamation point.*
Makes one wonder why our country was born with a "Declaration of Independence," when it seems like an exclamation might have been more appropriate.**
(Seems like something that they might have wanted to get more excited about.)
Could have been worse, though.
At least we didn't start our country with an interrogation of independence.
e.g. "Independence, where were you on the evening of July 4, 1776?"
Freedom.
Domination.
Freedomination.
* They got a little lazy on this name, it seems.
Perhaps coming up with the other two was exhausting.
Tired.
Redundant.
Tiredundant.
** The Exclamation of Independence would have started out, "Wheeeeee!, the people..."
Exclaim.
Imagination.
Exclaimagination.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
NormanD-Day
Normandy.
D-Day.
NormanD-Day.
Today marks the anniversary of the first day of the 1944 invasion, named after the last syllable of the province being invaded.
Bonjour.
Europe.
Bonjourope.
D-Day.
NormanD-Day.
Today marks the anniversary of the first day of the 1944 invasion, named after the last syllable of the province being invaded.
Bonjour.
Europe.
Bonjourope.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Bootlegacy
Bootleg.
Legacy.
Bootlegacy.
Technology keeps changing the world.*
It used to be that you could either buy a band's albums or see them live.
Concert.
Certainty.
Concertainty.
Or, if you were super lucky, you might find a rare copy of a live show that someone managed to secretly record.
Fortune.
Unilateral.
Fortunilateral.
Today, that special feeling doesn't exist anymore, because with cellphone cameras and digital devices, every event can be captured, rendering none of them as special.
What's next?
Futuristic.
Sticky.
Futuristicky.
Soon, I presume that literally everything will have the capacity to record: eyeball implants, trees that are also cameras, government satellites that work (this last one is a stretch, I mean, something of the government WORKING? am I right? to make this tired joke?).
Computer.
Terrible.
Computerrible.
So all of life will be spontaneously uploading and downloading so that everyone can experience everything at any time.
Ubiquitous.
Tussle.
Ubiquitussle.
Right now, we've got the world wide web; this will be the web-wide world.
(Same abbreviation.)**
No one will have to get anything, because everyone will have everything. And nothing.***
We will all be as one.
Which is pretty zen.
An Asian philosophy, brought to us by Asian technology.
But don't forget about the contribution of good old-fashioned American stereotyping!
Yin Yang.
Angry.
Yin Yangry.
* And the world keeps changing technology.
Ooh.
Revolutionary.
Arithmetic.
Revolutionarithmetic.
** Also, by the way, the very worst abbreviation possible.
World, wide, and web are all one-syllable words.
"W" is the only THREE-syllable letter.
It actually takes three times as long to say "double-you double-you double-you" as it does to say "world wide web."
If I could have named it, I would have called it something like the "Earth high-speed network," because then that four-syllable phrase could be easily abbreviated with one syllable: "ehn."
Efficiency.
Seize the Day!
Efficienceize the Day!
*** Which means that Seinfeld's popularity will soar once again.
(Not that it ever dropped that far, but it may have been gliding at a lower altitude.)
Seinfeld.
Felled.
Seinfelled.
Legacy.
Bootlegacy.
Technology keeps changing the world.*
It used to be that you could either buy a band's albums or see them live.
Concert.
Certainty.
Concertainty.
Or, if you were super lucky, you might find a rare copy of a live show that someone managed to secretly record.
Fortune.
Unilateral.
Fortunilateral.
Today, that special feeling doesn't exist anymore, because with cellphone cameras and digital devices, every event can be captured, rendering none of them as special.
What's next?
Futuristic.
Sticky.
Futuristicky.
Soon, I presume that literally everything will have the capacity to record: eyeball implants, trees that are also cameras, government satellites that work (this last one is a stretch, I mean, something of the government WORKING? am I right? to make this tired joke?).
Computer.
Terrible.
Computerrible.
So all of life will be spontaneously uploading and downloading so that everyone can experience everything at any time.
Ubiquitous.
Tussle.
Ubiquitussle.
Right now, we've got the world wide web; this will be the web-wide world.
(Same abbreviation.)**
No one will have to get anything, because everyone will have everything. And nothing.***
We will all be as one.
Which is pretty zen.
An Asian philosophy, brought to us by Asian technology.
But don't forget about the contribution of good old-fashioned American stereotyping!
Yin Yang.
Angry.
Yin Yangry.
* And the world keeps changing technology.
Ooh.
Revolutionary.
Arithmetic.
Revolutionarithmetic.
** Also, by the way, the very worst abbreviation possible.
World, wide, and web are all one-syllable words.
"W" is the only THREE-syllable letter.
It actually takes three times as long to say "double-you double-you double-you" as it does to say "world wide web."
If I could have named it, I would have called it something like the "Earth high-speed network," because then that four-syllable phrase could be easily abbreviated with one syllable: "ehn."
Efficiency.
Seize the Day!
Efficienceize the Day!
*** Which means that Seinfeld's popularity will soar once again.
(Not that it ever dropped that far, but it may have been gliding at a lower altitude.)
Seinfeld.
Felled.
Seinfelled.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Fiscalamity
Fiscal.
Calamity.
Fiscalamity.
You might notice that I haven't posted much about the current economic crisis, mostly because I don't fully understand the current economic crisis.
Economy.
Omission.
Economission.
Some people don't have money. I get that.
But I don't really get where money came from.*
I hear in the beginning it was based in gold, but not anymore.
Doubloons.
Onset.
Doubloonset.
Actually, in the beginning, there was probably no gold or money or anything.**
People just gathered and hunted for their own stuff, and then maybe traded stuff for other stuff. What a ridiculous idea.
Finance.
Antiquated.
Financiquated.
Someone must have decided that this system of direct trading wasn't good enough.
And that's when money must have come about.
There was no money, and then there WAS money.
So let's just do that again. Problem solved!
Magical.
Calculation.
Magicalculation.
I'm not sure how it happened, though. I'm not a historian either.
So, how about people who have lots of money just give some of that money to people who don't have enough money?
Too simple and reasonable or un-American? Okay, how about this instead?
Maybe poor people can put their poorness up for bidding on an online auction, and rich people can purchase it.
Because for the person who thinks they have everything money can buy, poorness is the one thing they definitely DON'T have, and thus should be the thing they want the most.
Problem double-solved!
E-Bay.
Bailout.
E-Bailout.
* Maybe from a pit? I think I heard about that in a movie.
Cinema.
Money.
Cinemoney.
Sounds tasty.
** In the beginning, the first thing there was, was light (as I understand it).
THEN gold.
Light from god, money from the devil.
(In the form of an apple, which probably just stood in for gold by way of the barter system. Like I said, it's complicated and I don't fully understand financial dealings. But I do know that I like apples.)
Fruitful.
Fulfillment.
Fruitfulfillment.
Calamity.
Fiscalamity.
You might notice that I haven't posted much about the current economic crisis, mostly because I don't fully understand the current economic crisis.
Economy.
Omission.
Economission.
Some people don't have money. I get that.
But I don't really get where money came from.*
I hear in the beginning it was based in gold, but not anymore.
Doubloons.
Onset.
Doubloonset.
Actually, in the beginning, there was probably no gold or money or anything.**
People just gathered and hunted for their own stuff, and then maybe traded stuff for other stuff. What a ridiculous idea.
Finance.
Antiquated.
Financiquated.
Someone must have decided that this system of direct trading wasn't good enough.
And that's when money must have come about.
There was no money, and then there WAS money.
So let's just do that again. Problem solved!
Magical.
Calculation.
Magicalculation.
I'm not sure how it happened, though. I'm not a historian either.
So, how about people who have lots of money just give some of that money to people who don't have enough money?
Too simple and reasonable or un-American? Okay, how about this instead?
Maybe poor people can put their poorness up for bidding on an online auction, and rich people can purchase it.
Because for the person who thinks they have everything money can buy, poorness is the one thing they definitely DON'T have, and thus should be the thing they want the most.
Problem double-solved!
E-Bay.
Bailout.
E-Bailout.
* Maybe from a pit? I think I heard about that in a movie.
Cinema.
Money.
Cinemoney.
Sounds tasty.
** In the beginning, the first thing there was, was light (as I understand it).
THEN gold.
Light from god, money from the devil.
(In the form of an apple, which probably just stood in for gold by way of the barter system. Like I said, it's complicated and I don't fully understand financial dealings. But I do know that I like apples.)
Fruitful.
Fulfillment.
Fruitfulfillment.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Idahorrible?
Idaho.
Horrible?
Idahorrible?
Someone told me it was.
But maybe they just hate potatoes.
Spud.
Grudge.
Sprudge.
Horrible?
Idahorrible?
Someone told me it was.
But maybe they just hate potatoes.
Spud.
Grudge.
Sprudge.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Legallantry
Legal.
Gallantry.
Legallantry.
I once considered going to law school, because of how many legal TV shows I've enjoyed.*
(I especially like Boston Legal.)**
Legislative.
TV
LegislaTV.
It looked like fun, but I imagined there might be more to the law than just being smarmy and hilarious, so I ultimately decided against it.
Probably a good idea, considering I didn't even want to put in the minimal research needed to find out how much research would be involved in actually being a lawyer.
Unless you count reading John Grisham.
Dumbest.
Bestseller.
Dumbestseller.
Also, just because someone enjoys watching something, it doesn't necessarily follow that they'd enjoy DOING that something.
For example, I've also enjoyed Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Oz, and 24, but I don't want to fight vampires, be assaulted, OR torture even proven enemies of the state.***
Because I'm a pacifist, a coward, AND a liberal.
And there would probably be too much research involved.
Figures.
Research.
Figuresearch.
* Legal TV shows that may have been downloaded and watched illegally, ironically.
Pirated.
Attorneys.
Pirattorneys.
** Boston Legal episodes that may have been watched in Boston, non-ironically.
Has-Been.
Beantown.
Has-Beentown.
*** I might torture anti-American vampires that are assaulting me, if it comes to that.
Hypocrite.
Creative.
Hypocreative.
Gallantry.
Legallantry.
I once considered going to law school, because of how many legal TV shows I've enjoyed.*
(I especially like Boston Legal.)**
Legislative.
TV
LegislaTV.
It looked like fun, but I imagined there might be more to the law than just being smarmy and hilarious, so I ultimately decided against it.
Probably a good idea, considering I didn't even want to put in the minimal research needed to find out how much research would be involved in actually being a lawyer.
Unless you count reading John Grisham.
Dumbest.
Bestseller.
Dumbestseller.
Also, just because someone enjoys watching something, it doesn't necessarily follow that they'd enjoy DOING that something.
For example, I've also enjoyed Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Oz, and 24, but I don't want to fight vampires, be assaulted, OR torture even proven enemies of the state.***
Because I'm a pacifist, a coward, AND a liberal.
And there would probably be too much research involved.
Figures.
Research.
Figuresearch.
* Legal TV shows that may have been downloaded and watched illegally, ironically.
Pirated.
Attorneys.
Pirattorneys.
** Boston Legal episodes that may have been watched in Boston, non-ironically.
Has-Been.
Beantown.
Has-Beentown.
*** I might torture anti-American vampires that are assaulting me, if it comes to that.
Hypocrite.
Creative.
Hypocreative.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sasquachoo
Sasquatch.
Achoo.
Sasquachoo.
If Bigfoot sneezes in the forest and there's no one around to say "God bless you," does it make a sound?
And more importantly, does this creature even have a soul that can escape through the nose, leaving Satan the opportunity to sneak in to replace it? *
Devil.
Illness.
Devillness.
At this point, probably not, what with all the Bigfoot photos people are always snapping.
Sure, they may all come out blurry, but being less photogenic doesn't get you your stolen soul back. **
Camera.
Merciless.
Camerciless.
All that is needed for evil to succeed is for good technology to work poorly.
Kodak.
Ache.
Kodache.
* Putting the "sin" in "sinus."
No-Nos.
Nostrils.
No-Nostrils.
** Though if saying "God bless you" works to replace your soul after a sneeze, why not try the same thing post photo session? Replace "cheese" with "blessings" and you're all set.
Sacrament.
Muenster.
Sacramuenster.
Achoo.
Sasquachoo.
If Bigfoot sneezes in the forest and there's no one around to say "God bless you," does it make a sound?
And more importantly, does this creature even have a soul that can escape through the nose, leaving Satan the opportunity to sneak in to replace it? *
Devil.
Illness.
Devillness.
At this point, probably not, what with all the Bigfoot photos people are always snapping.
Sure, they may all come out blurry, but being less photogenic doesn't get you your stolen soul back. **
Camera.
Merciless.
Camerciless.
All that is needed for evil to succeed is for good technology to work poorly.
Kodak.
Ache.
Kodache.
* Putting the "sin" in "sinus."
No-Nos.
Nostrils.
No-Nostrils.
** Though if saying "God bless you" works to replace your soul after a sneeze, why not try the same thing post photo session? Replace "cheese" with "blessings" and you're all set.
Sacrament.
Muenster.
Sacramuenster.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Babelittle
Babel.
Belittle.
Babelittle.
People tried to build a tower up to heaven.
God (worried they would succeed?) destroyed the tower.
Deconstruct.
Ruckus.
Deconstruckus.
This must have been back when heaven was actually located on the clouds, before it relocated to space where we know it is today.
Paradise.
Distant.
Paradistant.
God didn't stop there. He also made everyone speak different languages, so they wouldn't be able to reconnect and restart the Babel project.*
Language.
Aggravated.
Languaggravated.
Which is why it seems strange when people are strongly patriotic, strongly xenophobic, AND strongly religious.
e.g. "Don't come to America, land of Jesus, until you speak English like God intended."
Patriotism.
Autism.
Patriautism.
Because God was the one who made everyone speak different, remember?**
(Which means he was also the one who made everyone THINK different as well.
Which led to the famous Apple slogan that the snake used on Eve.
Which means that Steve Jobs is the devil?***
Apple.
Pleased.
Appleased.)
* And it worked. They didn't even end up making the MOVIE "Babel" for thousands of years, let alone attempt an actual tower again.
Hollywood.
Wouldn't.
Hollywouldn't.
** I just said it. You got it.
Listen.
Tenacious.
Listenacious.
*** And Ipods are his evil tools.
Nano.
Anointed
Nanointed.
Belittle.
Babelittle.
People tried to build a tower up to heaven.
God (worried they would succeed?) destroyed the tower.
Deconstruct.
Ruckus.
Deconstruckus.
This must have been back when heaven was actually located on the clouds, before it relocated to space where we know it is today.
Paradise.
Distant.
Paradistant.
God didn't stop there. He also made everyone speak different languages, so they wouldn't be able to reconnect and restart the Babel project.*
Language.
Aggravated.
Languaggravated.
Which is why it seems strange when people are strongly patriotic, strongly xenophobic, AND strongly religious.
e.g. "Don't come to America, land of Jesus, until you speak English like God intended."
Patriotism.
Autism.
Patriautism.
Because God was the one who made everyone speak different, remember?**
(Which means he was also the one who made everyone THINK different as well.
Which led to the famous Apple slogan that the snake used on Eve.
Which means that Steve Jobs is the devil?***
Apple.
Pleased.
Appleased.)
* And it worked. They didn't even end up making the MOVIE "Babel" for thousands of years, let alone attempt an actual tower again.
Hollywood.
Wouldn't.
Hollywouldn't.
** I just said it. You got it.
Listen.
Tenacious.
Listenacious.
*** And Ipods are his evil tools.
Nano.
Anointed
Nanointed.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Momentummy
Momentum.
Tummy.
Momentummy.
When you just can't stop eating.*
You're on a roll.
Growing rounder until you will roll.
From stuffing yourself with too many rolls.
So that you can't even fit into your fancy car, a Rolls.**
And your stomach is upset and you need relief, spelled starting with the letters "Rol"...
Rolaid.
Idea.
Rolaidea.
* It's called being an American.
Patriot.
Eats.
Patreats.
** You probably can't afford a Rolls.
You bought too many rolls.
But at least you can roll everywhere.
You're all set.
Bread.
Ready.
Bready.
Tummy.
Momentummy.
When you just can't stop eating.*
You're on a roll.
Growing rounder until you will roll.
From stuffing yourself with too many rolls.
So that you can't even fit into your fancy car, a Rolls.**
And your stomach is upset and you need relief, spelled starting with the letters "Rol"...
Rolaid.
Idea.
Rolaidea.
* It's called being an American.
Patriot.
Eats.
Patreats.
** You probably can't afford a Rolls.
You bought too many rolls.
But at least you can roll everywhere.
You're all set.
Bread.
Ready.
Bready.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Landslidiot
Landslide.
Idiot.
Landslidiot.
The result of democracy, often but not always.
Hope.
Open.
Hopen.
Idiot.
Landslidiot.
The result of democracy, often but not always.
Hope.
Open.
Hopen.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Aphroditinerary
Aphrodite.
Itinerary.
Aphroditinerary.
I love to travel.
Or at least, I do travel and I love what I do when I do travel.
Perform.
Formula.
Performula.
I was recently invited to perform in two different places on the same weekend.
And without technology that either doesn't exist or that I'm not rich enough to know about, I can't do both.
Teleport.
Poor.
Telepoor.
So I must choose between Atlanta and Portland.
Because if I try to compromise...
Georgia.
Oregon.
Gorgon.
...I end up in the middle of the country with a creature so ugly I turn to stone.
Medusa.
USA.
MedUSA.
Itinerary.
Aphroditinerary.
I love to travel.
Or at least, I do travel and I love what I do when I do travel.
Perform.
Formula.
Performula.
I was recently invited to perform in two different places on the same weekend.
And without technology that either doesn't exist or that I'm not rich enough to know about, I can't do both.
Teleport.
Poor.
Telepoor.
So I must choose between Atlanta and Portland.
Because if I try to compromise...
Georgia.
Oregon.
Gorgon.
...I end up in the middle of the country with a creature so ugly I turn to stone.
Medusa.
USA.
MedUSA.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Columbusker
Columbus.
Busker.
Columbusker.
What would have happened, if his journey wasn't fully funded by the Spanish monarchs, and Columbus would had to support his mission with street performing.
Which is much more difficult out on the open sea.
Not as much foot traffic.
Mermaids aplenty, but they have no feet. Or wallets.
(Pirates do have money and feet, but aren't the most supportive of the arts.)
So, thank you Spain.
Because without you, Columbus might very well have failed, and we wouldn't be speaking Italian today.
Mamma Mia.
Mea Culpa.
Mamma Mea Culpa.
Busker.
Columbusker.
What would have happened, if his journey wasn't fully funded by the Spanish monarchs, and Columbus would had to support his mission with street performing.
Which is much more difficult out on the open sea.
Not as much foot traffic.
Mermaids aplenty, but they have no feet. Or wallets.
(Pirates do have money and feet, but aren't the most supportive of the arts.)
So, thank you Spain.
Because without you, Columbus might very well have failed, and we wouldn't be speaking Italian today.
Mamma Mia.
Mea Culpa.
Mamma Mea Culpa.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Geographylum
Geography.
Phylum.
Geographylum.
Phylum can mean a large group of languages that are related.
Geography can mean geography.
At least one person from each of the following countries is related to the large group of language known as this blog:
Spain.
India.
Spaindia. (Famous for the running of the sacred cows.)
America.
Canada.
Americanada. (Land of the free and home of the bacon.)
Venezuela.
England.
Venezuengland. (With even rainier rainforests.)
Japan.
Netherlands.
Japanetherlands. (Where assisted hari-kari is legal.)
Brazil.
Singapore.
Brazingapore. (Clever combination of these two cultures. I need to learn more.)
(And those last ones are a stretch, I know.
Though "Brazil" could have been spelled "Brasil" like it is there.
That would have made it more logical, but also taken away the "zing" at the end.
Either way, it's better than the original rough draft version:
Singapore.
Brazil.
Sing. Uh... Poor Brazil.)
Thanks to everyone from everywhere for reading.
Let me know if you're from somewhere else, or from nowhere else, or neither. Or both.
Especially if you can't read. Then thanks even more for being here.
Ubiquitous.
Illiteracy.
Ubiquilliteracy.
Phylum.
Geographylum.
Phylum can mean a large group of languages that are related.
Geography can mean geography.
At least one person from each of the following countries is related to the large group of language known as this blog:
Spain.
India.
Spaindia. (Famous for the running of the sacred cows.)
America.
Canada.
Americanada. (Land of the free and home of the bacon.)
Venezuela.
England.
Venezuengland. (With even rainier rainforests.)
Japan.
Netherlands.
Japanetherlands. (Where assisted hari-kari is legal.)
Brazil.
Singapore.
Brazingapore. (Clever combination of these two cultures. I need to learn more.)
(And those last ones are a stretch, I know.
Though "Brazil" could have been spelled "Brasil" like it is there.
That would have made it more logical, but also taken away the "zing" at the end.
Either way, it's better than the original rough draft version:
Singapore.
Brazil.
Sing. Uh... Poor Brazil.)
Thanks to everyone from everywhere for reading.
Let me know if you're from somewhere else, or from nowhere else, or neither. Or both.
Especially if you can't read. Then thanks even more for being here.
Ubiquitous.
Illiteracy.
Ubiquilliteracy.
Taftermath
Taft.
Aftermath.
Taftermath.
A president got stuck in his bathtub.
After word got out of that, how much must his credibility have been shot?
I think I would rather not be famous, if the choice is to famous for being that fat.
I'd rather be a nobody than President Bathtub.*
Cellulite.
Leader.
Celluleader.
* So far, wish granted!
Though, with the modern technology that exists now, a fat president could probably afford liposuction. Or a larger bathtub.
And I don't really think of myself as a nobody. I'm more of a whoever.
In conclusion, my wish is to be somewhere in between a nobody and a fat president.**
Genie.
Neither.
Geneither.
** Maybe a fit comptroller.
("Comptroller" is a real word, but looks like one I could have made up, combining "computer," "troll," and maybe "controller" for good measure.
So to clarify, my goal is to be a controlling, computing troll who is in good shape.)
Aftermath.
Taftermath.
A president got stuck in his bathtub.
After word got out of that, how much must his credibility have been shot?
I think I would rather not be famous, if the choice is to famous for being that fat.
I'd rather be a nobody than President Bathtub.*
Cellulite.
Leader.
Celluleader.
* So far, wish granted!
Though, with the modern technology that exists now, a fat president could probably afford liposuction. Or a larger bathtub.
And I don't really think of myself as a nobody. I'm more of a whoever.
In conclusion, my wish is to be somewhere in between a nobody and a fat president.**
Genie.
Neither.
Geneither.
** Maybe a fit comptroller.
("Comptroller" is a real word, but looks like one I could have made up, combining "computer," "troll," and maybe "controller" for good measure.
So to clarify, my goal is to be a controlling, computing troll who is in good shape.)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inaugrationality
Inaugurate.
Rationality.
Inaugurationality.
Barack Obama is the president.
It happened.
Dream.
America.
Dreamerica.
Now all he has to do is flip the flourishing economy switch from Off to On.
And the universal health care switch.
Also the gay rights equality switch.
And a few others.
But he did just get there.
And he's already mentioned the paying-attention-to-science-again switch.
And the not-lumping-all-Muslims-together-as-evil switch.
And the having-regard-for-our-country's-reputation switch.
Obama.
Magnificent.
Obamagnificent.
All these switches are likely running on dimmer technology, actually.
With certain geographical and chronological time delays.
But we're definitely moving forward, if Einstein knew what he was talking about.
Which he did. As a scientist.
And Obama knows it.
Space/Time.
I'm happy.
Spaced/I'm happy.
Rationality.
Inaugurationality.
Barack Obama is the president.
It happened.
Dream.
America.
Dreamerica.
Now all he has to do is flip the flourishing economy switch from Off to On.
And the universal health care switch.
Also the gay rights equality switch.
And a few others.
But he did just get there.
And he's already mentioned the paying-attention-to-science-again switch.
And the not-lumping-all-Muslims-together-as-evil switch.
And the having-regard-for-our-country's-reputation switch.
Obama.
Magnificent.
Obamagnificent.
All these switches are likely running on dimmer technology, actually.
With certain geographical and chronological time delays.
But we're definitely moving forward, if Einstein knew what he was talking about.
Which he did. As a scientist.
And Obama knows it.
Space/Time.
I'm happy.
Spaced/I'm happy.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Welcomedian!
Welcome.
Comedian.
Welcomedian.
Sometimes I'll put words together to make new words, in a process that I haven't named yet.
But when I name it, you can bet it will be good.
And you might lose that bet.
But you're certainly free to make the bet. Because we live in a free country, where you can gamble as much as you want. As long as you're willing to also go to jail.
America: where you are free to choose to go to jail. Sometimes even when you don't want to.
This blog: better than jail.
Enjoy.
Comedian.
Welcomedian.
Sometimes I'll put words together to make new words, in a process that I haven't named yet.
But when I name it, you can bet it will be good.
And you might lose that bet.
But you're certainly free to make the bet. Because we live in a free country, where you can gamble as much as you want. As long as you're willing to also go to jail.
America: where you are free to choose to go to jail. Sometimes even when you don't want to.
This blog: better than jail.
Enjoy.
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