Genee-Jerk

Genie.
Knee-Jerk.
Genee-Jerk.

Don't react immediately when a magical being tells you you have three wishes.

First, make sure it's not one of those vindictive ones that will purposefully misinterpret your words to give you literally what you asked for but figuratively big problems.

e.g. You ask to be the richest person in the world, so the genie kills everyone else.

Genie.
Genocide.
Genie-cide.

Also, it might not even be a genie, but the devil in disguise trying to steal your soul.

If that's the case, go through all the motions and then when he tries to claim it, you can say, "No, I said you could have my SOLE. Of my shoe. Take the whole thing. In fact, take both. I'm feeling magnanimous."

Genie.
Generous.
Genie-rous.*

Then you just go to the genie and ask for a new pair.

And then he gives you a piece of fruit.

Which is way more delicious than losing your soul.

Genie.
Needless to Say.
Geneedless to Say.



* That one wasn't actually even about the genie, sorry.

Devil.
Illegitimate.
Devillegitimate.

Abracadabrasive

Abracadabra.
Abrasive.
Abracadabrasive.

When a genie in a lamp rubs you the wrong way.

Perhaps because you rubbed IT the wrong way.

Which leads to YOU having to grant IT* three wishes.

Dodgy.
Genie.
Dodgenie.


* I used the word "it" instead of "him," choosing to be un-PC against the genie community, as opposed to the sexist option, or the awkwardness of "him or her," because a genie could certainly be either gender, and there's no way a glass ceiling could keep a genie from magicking right through it.

Gender.
Derogatory.
Genderogatory.

Twitterrifying

Twitter.
Terrifying.
Twitterrifying.*

Finally, your wish is granted (if you were one of the handful of people wishing that I would join Twitter).

Genie.
Needy.
Genieedy.


* Changed from "Twitterrific" after learning someone already came up with that officially.

Sorries!
Reason.
Sorrieason.

Taftermath

Taft.
Aftermath.
Taftermath.

A president got stuck in his bathtub.
After word got out of that, how much must his credibility have been shot?

I think I would rather not be famous, if the choice is to famous for being that fat.
I'd rather be a nobody than President Bathtub.*

Cellulite.
Leader.
Celluleader.


* So far, wish granted!
Though, with the modern technology that exists now, a fat president could probably afford liposuction. Or a larger bathtub.

And I don't really think of myself as a nobody. I'm more of a whoever.

In conclusion, my wish is to be somewhere in between a nobody and a fat president.**

Genie.
Neither.
Geneither.


** Maybe a fit comptroller.
("Comptroller" is a real word, but looks like one I could have made up, combining "computer," "troll," and maybe "controller" for good measure.
So to clarify, my goal is to be a controlling, computing troll who is in good shape.)