Orvilbur

Orville.
Wilbur.
Orvilbur.

The Wright brothers after an unsuccessful plane mission where their remains were mashed together, or after a successful and purposeful Frankenstein-like experiment resulting in a Voltron-like combination of the duo.

Result.
Voltron.
Resoltron.

Aphroditinerary

Aphrodite.
Itinerary.
Aphroditinerary.

I love to travel.

Or at least, I do travel and I love what I do when I do travel.

Perform.
Formula.
Performula.

I was recently invited to perform in two different places on the same weekend.

And without technology that either doesn't exist or that I'm not rich enough to know about, I can't do both.

Teleport.
Poor.
Telepoor.

So I must choose between Atlanta and Portland.

Because if I try to compromise...

Georgia.
Oregon.
Gorgon.

...I end up in the middle of the country with a creature so ugly I turn to stone.

Medusa.
USA.
MedUSA.

Alooflying

Aloofly.*
Flying.
Alooflying.

It's a bird with an attitude.

No, it's a plane with an attitude.

No, it's Superman with an attitude!


* Adverbial form of "aloof."
Not an Indian potato fly.

Parachutensil

Parachute.
Utensils.
Parachutensils.

The ultimate Swiss army knife can cut up your dinner AND save you from a plane crash.

And if the other passengers don't survive the plane crash, there's your dinner.

(Hopefully you're flying with some cattle*, and not just packed in there like them with a South American rugby team.

Veal.
Alive.
Vealive.

Look, this one works both ways:

Alive.
Veal.
Aliveal.)


* As a vegan, I'd still rather see cows eaten than other humans.
Unless the humans are jerks.
Which they probably are.
Okay, now I want the cows to survive and have to eat the humans.

(I presume that if they were capable of activating the parachute, the utensils should prove no harder.)

First Classhole

First Class.
Asshole.
First Classhole.

Two possible meanings:

1) Somebody who brags about flying in the front section of the plane.
(Which you can feel better about if you remember that if the plane crashes, they're in first position to die.)

2) A first-class asshole.
(Which you can feel better about if you imagine that they're going to die before you also.
Maybe in a plane crash.
However karma works.)

Huskywriting

Husky.
Skywriting.
Huskywriting.

When planes write letters that are too fat, they end up as clouds.

e.g. "What does that cloud look like to you?"
"Illegible."