Alluminati

Aluminum.
Illuminati.
Alluminati.

A secret conspiracy (involving tin* cans) that tries to take over the world but is constantly foiled.

Foil.
Failure.
Foilure.


* But not tin.

Or is it?

Metal.
Also.
Metalso.

Guitarget

Guitar.
Target.
Guitarget.

The spot on the floor where rock stars aim to smash their instruments.

Mandolin.
Linoleum.
Mandolinoleum.

A process that was secretly put into being and encouraged by a covert conspiratorial cadre of instrument-makers, who then get more business as a result.

Wood breaking? Music to their ears.

Freemason.
Sonorousness.
Freemasonorousness.

Literatureka

Literature.
Eureka.
Literatureka.

When my grandmother was in the second grade, she wanted a library card, but her school's rules held that you had to be in at least the third grade to get one.

(Why would this be a rule?
If you know what a library is, and you still want to go there?
It's not like it's a bar, and 7-year-olds can't handle their knowledge.)

Tipsy.
Silly.
Tipsilly.

So she told the librarian that she WAS in the third grade to combat this discrimination.

Espionage.
Ageism.
Espionageism.

She put the "lie" in "library," thankfully not in writing, or it would have given her away.

Deceitful.
Foolish.
Deceitfoolish.

But she was found out eventually.
The school called her mother, who came and disciplined her physically.

What do you say to a child when punishing them for wanting to read?

"This will teach you to want to learn!"

Hypocrisy.
Seeking.
Hypocriseeking.

And that's how my grandmother became a zen master.

Bubby.
Buddha.
Bubbha.

Geographylum

Geography.
Phylum.
Geographylum.

Phylum can mean a large group of languages that are related.
Geography can mean geography.

At least one person from each of the following countries is related to the large group of language known as this blog:

Spain.
India.
Spaindia. (Famous for the running of the sacred cows.)

America.
Canada.
Americanada. (Land of the free and home of the bacon.)

Venezuela.
England.
Venezuengland. (With even rainier rainforests.)

Japan.
Netherlands.
Japanetherlands. (Where assisted hari-kari is legal.)

Brazil.
Singapore.
Brazingapore. (Clever combination of these two cultures. I need to learn more.)

(And those last ones are a stretch, I know.
Though "Brazil" could have been spelled "Brasil" like it is there.
That would have made it more logical, but also taken away the "zing" at the end.
Either way, it's better than the original rough draft version:

Singapore.
Brazil.
Sing. Uh... Poor Brazil.)


Thanks to everyone from everywhere for reading.
Let me know if you're from somewhere else, or from nowhere else, or neither. Or both.
Especially if you can't read. Then thanks even more for being here.

Ubiquitous.
Illiteracy.
Ubiquilliteracy.