When I was a child, I was apparently very good at Monopoly.
Relatives suggested that I should become an accountant when I grew up because of this.
(Also because I was Jewish.* Or at least Jewy-ish.)
But I honestly wasn't interested in real life banking.
I knew I was supposed to want to do something to make money, but I didn't know what to do.
So I decided that I wanted someone to hire me to just be myself.
Someone rich who could afford to support my lifestyle** in exchange for being entertained.
Like a court jester to a king.
(But with less chance of having my head cut off.)
And look--that stupid and beautiful dream has sort of come true!
I jest for a living, and I occasionally go to court.
(There's some of that jesting!)
And sure, I might not work for a specific king, but I do entertain masses of people, and in a democracy, masses of people are king, right?
(I'm no political-ologist.)
So my wildest Monopoly dreams have come true...
I travel by thimble, my career has passed Go and I'm sure I've collected at least $200.
(Sorry I don't know the exact amount--I'm not an accountant.)
* Jewish grandmothers are mandated to push for their children to join our holy trinity of stereotypes: the doctor, the lawyer, and the accountant.
** My lifestyle at the time consisted mainly of Spider-Man comic books.
Financing it would have been a bargain.
(Sorry, potential financiers who don't have time machines.)
I've come a long way since then.
Now my lifestyle is comic books AND Netflix.
(And blogging, but that's on me.)
*** Monopoly's sequel.
Where you magically travel back in time to make good financial investments.