Boardwawkward

Boardwalk.
Awkward.
Boardwawkward.

When I was a child, I was apparently very good at Monopoly.

Relatives suggested that I should become an accountant when I grew up because of this.
(Also because I was Jewish.* Or at least Jewy-ish.)

Jewish.
Wishy-Washy.
Jewishy-Washy.

But I honestly wasn't interested in real life banking.

I knew I was supposed to want to do something to make money, but I didn't know what to do.

Employment.
Mentality.
Employmentality.

So I decided that I wanted someone to hire me to just be myself.
Someone rich who could afford to support my lifestyle** in exchange for being entertained.

Financier.
Serious.
Financierious.

Like a court jester to a king.
(But with less chance of having my head cut off.)

Clown.
Ownership.
Clownership.

And look--that stupid and beautiful dream has sort of come true!

I jest for a living, and I occasionally go to court.
(There's some of that jesting!)

And sure, I might not work for a specific king, but I do entertain masses of people, and in a democracy, masses of people are king, right?
(I'm no political-ologist.)

Uncommon.
Monarch.
Uncommonarch.

So my wildest Monopoly dreams have come true...
I travel by thimble, my career has passed Go and I'm sure I've collected at least $200.

(Sorry I don't know the exact amount--I'm not an accountant.)

Ecstatic.
Statistics.
Ecstatistics.


* Jewish grandmothers are mandated to push for their children to join our holy trinity of stereotypes: the doctor, the lawyer, and the accountant.

Kosher.
Heroes.
Kosheroes.


** My lifestyle at the time consisted mainly of Spider-Man comic books.
Financing it would have been a bargain.
(Sorry, potential financiers who don't have time machines.)

Chronology.
Apology.
Chronopology.***

I've come a long way since then.
Now my lifestyle is comic books AND Netflix.
(And blogging, but that's on me.)


*** Monopoly's sequel.

Where you magically travel back in time to make good financial investments.

Capitalism.
Talisman.
Capitalisman.

Spiderived

Spider.
Derived.
Spiderived.

Peter Parker got his crime-fighting abilities as a result of being bitten.

Arachnid.
Nip.
Arachnip.

Some see that as far-fetched, but this sort of thing definitely happens in real life as well.

For instance, if a rabid dog bites you, you get a rabid dog's ability to foam at the mouth.
It might not be the ideal super-power, but it should at least stop criminals from robbing YOU.

Mugger.
Germaphobe.
Muggermaphobe.

It might not stop the cops from coming after you, though.
Or at least animal control.

Rabies.
Beast.
Rabeast.

(That could be your super-villain name.)

Tarantululation

Tarantula.
Ululation.
Tarantululation.

The spider's lament.

("With great power comes great responsibility.")