Continuumpire

Continuum.
Umpire.
Continuumpire.

Einstein determined that space and time were actually one.
Buddha determined the same thing, but he might have been hallucinating from eating too little. Or eating too much. Or eating just the right amount, Gandhi-locks style.
(Where too little IS the right amount and the right amount is too much. Zen headache!)

That's why Einstein beat out Buddha as the referee of the Space-Time Continuum, which is why if you correctly scramble the letters of "Space-Time Continuum" appropriately, you get these appropriate results:

Einstein = MCC*, Auto Ump
A Cosmic Umpteen's Unit
and
A Sciences Optimum Nut


If you scramble them less appropriately, you get these less appropriate results:

A Cosmetic Neptunium
Conceit Minus Amputee
And
Impotences... A Tunic... Um


And if you REALLY screw it up, you get these:

Scott
Mark
and
Brian**


One could argue that God is the actual umpire of the space-time continuum, but Einstein would still have to act as his representative in the corporeal world.
Like the Pope does for non-science God.
And Einstein doesn't even need the hat, because his hair is big enough.
Or maybe the Pope hat was designed to fit Einstein's hair perfectly, like Cinderella's slippers.

But something went awry along the way.
Some sort of space-time continuoops.

Which sent unfortunate ripples in all directions throughout history and future history.
Causing things like the Crusades, the Holocaust, and the band Creed.

And now we don't have the right continuumpire.
So we have to try to fix things and make them right ourselves.
We have to listen to each other, learn about our differences, and strive to overcome them and connect with one another.
Because Einstein and Buddha were right, everything is one, everything is connected, and we can all succeed together.

Or we can just sit back and wait for the right person to come along and fill the scientific Cinderella Pope-hat.


* "MCC" is short for "MC Squared," and "Einstein" is long for "E."

** These are the first names of the original members of the band Creed.