Friday, May 29, 2009

Bootlegacy

Bootleg.
Legacy.
Bootlegacy.

Technology keeps changing the world.*

It used to be that you could either buy a band's albums or see them live.

Concert.
Certainty.
Concertainty.

Or, if you were super lucky, you might find a rare copy of a live show that someone managed to secretly record.

Fortune.
Unilateral.
Fortunilateral.

Today, that special feeling doesn't exist anymore, because with cellphone cameras and digital devices, every event can be captured, rendering none of them as special.

What's next?

Futuristic.
Sticky.
Futuristicky.

Soon, I presume that literally everything will have the capacity to record: eyeball implants, trees that are also cameras, government satellites that work (this last one is a stretch, I mean, something of the government WORKING? am I right? to make this tired joke?).

Computer.
Terrible.
Computerrible.

So all of life will be spontaneously uploading and downloading so that everyone can experience everything at any time.

Ubiquitous.
Tussle.
Ubiquitussle.

Right now, we've got the world wide web; this will be the web-wide world.
(Same abbreviation.)**

No one will have to get anything, because everyone will have everything. And nothing.***

We will all be as one.

Which is pretty zen.

An Asian philosophy, brought to us by Asian technology.

But don't forget about the contribution of good old-fashioned American stereotyping!

Yin Yang.
Angry.
Yin Yangry.


* And the world keeps changing technology.

Ooh.

Revolutionary.
Arithmetic.
Revolutionarithmetic.


** Also, by the way, the very worst abbreviation possible.
World, wide, and web are all one-syllable words.
"W" is the only THREE-syllable letter.
It actually takes three times as long to say "double-you double-you double-you" as it does to say "world wide web."

If I could have named it, I would have called it something like the "Earth high-speed network," because then that four-syllable phrase could be easily abbreviated with one syllable: "ehn."

Efficiency.
Seize the Day!
Efficienceize the Day!


*** Which means that Seinfeld's popularity will soar once again.

(Not that it ever dropped that far, but it may have been gliding at a lower altitude.)

Seinfeld.
Felled.
Seinfelled.

6 comments:

  1. That's why people just say the 'web'.

    I don't like Seinfeld.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What's the deal with you not liking Seinfeld?

    But seriously folks.

    Do you not like his comedy, his show, or just him personally?

    Did Seinfeld wrong you in some way?

    Is there any way he can win you back over?
    Or should he just quit?

    Resign.
    Seinfeld.
    Reseignfeld.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What is this about Seinfeld anyway?

    Why do people think he's so funny?

    Is it his face? Is it his hair? Maybe it's his nose?

    I just don't get it. I say quit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Maybe you don't think he's funny because you're too busy looking at his body parts to listen to the words that are coming out of his mouth?

    (His mouth, also, a body part you specifically didn't mention.)

    I recommend mouth-listening to his tune, and maybe you'll change yours?

    Ho-Hum.
    Humor.
    Ho-Humor.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Maybe so, but it only takes my ears to listen to him, not my eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fair point, made with fingers, speaking for your brain mouth.

    Cranium.
    Yum-Yum.
    Crainium-Yum.

    ReplyDelete