Statistics show that there are fewer female pedophiles than males.
And not just because women aren't allowed to become priests.
And I don't mean to rub salt in any stigmata with tired Catholic jokes.
(See? New twist!)
I know they've been beaten to death, but the church is usually the first one to support the idea of things coming back from the dead.
What if Jesus rose from the grave and told the Pope he's fired (for sexist hiring practices, if not the pedophile scandals)?
Or at least if he could return to create a porn magazine that religious folks could use as a substitute for the real wronging of women and children.
(See also Religionesty.)