Plutopia

Pluto.
Utopia.
Plutopia.

A perfect world, if you like it cold and distant.

And not really a world any more. At least not one of the official solar system ones.

Planet.
Net Loss.
Planet Loss.

FAqua

FAQ.
Aqua.
FAqua.

Frequently asked questions about water:

1) What percentage of the earth is covered in water?
2) What percentage of a human body is made of water?
3) Is it a coincidence that those numbers are similar?
4) What is hoarfrost? Is it dirty?
5) Are these questions really asked frequently?
6) Are there really any questions people frequently ask about water?
7) Are we talking RELATIVE frequency? And if so, relative to what?
8) That last one didn't even mention water.
9) That last one wasn't even a question. Neither was this, was it?
10) Why is this making a mockery of all that FAQs stand for?

If you have any more questions about water, let us know!

Liquid.
Questions.
Liquedstions.

Habitattoos

Habitat.
Tattoos.
Habitattoos.

Crop circles.

Mother Earth is just trying to look cool by putting foreign symbols on her body.

Rationale.
Alien.
Rationalien.

But is she too old to pull that off?

She is carrying a lot of water weight, though her revolutionary spin class might do wonders, along with erosion to keep her in shape for Father Time.

Aerobicize.
Seismic.
Aerobiceismic.

Meteeyore

Meteor.
Eeyore.
Meteeyore.

A fiery, pitiful donkey plummeting through the Earth's atmosphere from space, with its nailed-on tail half falling off.

An ass with a half-assed ass.

Half-Assed.
Asteroid.
Half-Assteroid.

One of these may have depressed the dinosaurs to death.

Dinosaur.
Sorrow.
Dinosorrow.

Scubiquitous

Scuba.
Ubiquitous.
Scubiquitous.

Travel plans for when the polar ice caps melt.

Diving.
Vindication.
Divindication.

Boats will probably be helpful as well.

Jetski.
Skills.
Jetskills.

Kleptolemy

Klepto.
Ptolemy.
Kleptolemy.

He stole the idea that the earth was at the center of the universe, probably from Aristotle.

So they both got an "F" from God, who could see that they had cheated off one another.

Also, they both got the answer wrong, which is deserving of an "F" legitimately.

Wrong.
Ongoing.
Wrongoing.

"A" for effort? I've never understood that.
There's no "A" anywhere in effort.

But you know what there are? Two "F"s.
So that's what they got.

Two "F"s for effort.

Attempt.
Empty.
Attempty.

Also, Ptolemy gets one more "F" for spelling his name wrong.

In fact, the "P" in his name is just an "F" that he tried to cover up by changing on his report card so his parents wouldn't be mad.

Globituary

Globe.
Obituary.
Globituary.

When the earth dies, where will you read about it?

Certainly not in the Daily Planet, unless Superman keeps the paper going longer than the planet that it's named for.

Paper.
Perish.
Paperish.

And what will be the cause of death?

Probably global warming, but not the global warming that's slowly upping the temperature until the whole planet is one big beach.
(Or one big ocean with one tiny beach, at least.)

Swimwear.
Earth.
Swimwearth.

More likely the global warming that the sun emits when it explodes and takes out the whole solar system, including our new beach.
(Perhaps a better name would be global heating.)

Explode.
Ding ding ding!
Exploding ding ding!

Snoozone

Snooze.
Ozone.
Snoozone.

You snooze, the planet loses.

Actually, if people did more snoozing and less working at releasing chemicals into the atmosphere, then the planet would win.

You're awake, the planet aches.

Awake.
Ache.
Awache.

Saturniquet

Saturn.
Tourniquet.
Saturniquet.

Its rings are there to keep it from bleeding.

Jupiter could learn something from this.
With bigger and more absorbent rings, that great red spot could be taken care of.