Tonight, I hosted a comedy show for an audience of about nine people.
But what they lacked in quantity, they made up in quantity of years that they had been alive.
If the amount of time lived by the aggregate of audience members that were there could have been spread out amongst a more ideal quantity of audience members, that would have solved TWO problems.
What a great magical power that would be, to be able to make the audience both younger and larger at the same time.*
* And what a selfish way that would be to use this power.
Well, if everyone came to my shows, then everyone would benefit.
Who's the selfish one now? (Answer: still me, fishing for more audience members.)