Pregnantics

Pregnant.
Antics.
Pregnantics.

Once upon a time, I broke up with a girl and she cried.

A week later, she came to me and told me that she was as pregnant as her eyes had been with tears the week before. *

Uterus.
Irises.
Utirises.

So the breakup was put on hold, while we planned for the birth...
the birth of our futures on the day that pregnancy would be ended, of course.

This was not a decision made lightly.
This girl was a practicing Catholic; she practiced nearly every part of the faith and was great at almost all of it.

So she came to a decision that I supported (I am pro-woman).

Preparing.
Ringleader.
Preparingleader.

But the day before that decision was to come to fruition (or was to undo a previous coming to fruition), something happened.

She told me that she fell down the stairs, went to the doctor, and found out that she was no longer pregnant.

So, the something that happened was actually either three things (stairs, doctor, finding), OR one different thing: she lied to me.

I didn't realize it at the time, because I was a trusting human being, but the timing of it all seems in hindsight to be MIGHTY convenient.

Timing.
Ingenious.
Timingenious.

Plus, I might have been ignoring other signs, such as her asking questions like "Does this fake pregnancy make me look fat?"

Obese.
OB-GYN.
OBese-GYN.

I've heard that sometimes couples will have a baby to keep their relationship alive. But apparently, that only works when the baby is alive, too. And real. (And also this doesn't work.)

So we broke up again. And this time the breakup was as real as the baby wasn't. And everyone who was alive lived happily ever after.

Fairy Tale.
Retelling.
Fair Retelling.


* She didn't put it that way. I'm sure hers was more poetic.

Sub-Par.
Paraphrase.
Sub-Paraphrase.