Self-A-Werewolf

Self-Aware.
A Werewolf.
Self-A-Werewolf.

Someone who really knows what's going on every time there's a full moon.

Lunar.
Nerd.
Lunerd.

Stupork

Stupor.
Pork.
Stupork.

Pigs are supposed to be smart, but if they're so smart, then how come they get eaten so much?

Bacon.
Constantly.
Baconstantly.

Sure, they may have tricked Jews and Muslims into leaving them be. For now.

And yes, they've also escaped the wrath of the Big Bad Wolf.

(By convincing him that he should follow Judeo-Islamic teachings and not blow down their house on the sabbath.)

Shalom.
Lone Wolf.
Shalone Wolf.

But as much as people declare that the pig is smarter than the dog, it's true, the dog might be mindlessly fetching its master's newspaper to read over breakfast, but more often than not, the pig IS that breakfast.

Porcine.
Inevitability.
Porcinevitability.

Pacifiction

Pacific.
Fiction.
Pacifiction.

This ocean doesn't have any cool fake stuff in it at all.

No lost continent of Atlantis.
No Bermuda triangle.
No Loch Ness monster.
No mermaids.
No Aquaman.
No drowning werewolves.
No Jesus walking on it.
No Jonah trapped in the belly of the Loch Ness monster in it.
No fun at all.

Inept.
Neptune.
Ineptune.

F-bombudsman

F-bomb.
Ombudsman.
F-bombudsman.

You might notice that there are no swear words here.
Plenty of references to pedophilia, bestiality, incest, and necrophilia, sure, but no swear words.
Everything in TV-friendly terminology.*

Because really, do you need to swear to talk about being sexually attracted to children, animals, your family, or the dead?
Is that what society has come to?

That's not how I was raised by my dead Uncle Werewolf (who was also somehow a child).**

Necrophilia.
Philosophy.
Incest.
Necrophilosophincest.


* Just in case anyone in Hollywood wants to turn this blog into a sitcom.

Two and a Half Blogs?
30 Blog?
My Name is Blog?
Blogs? (That's "Scrubs.")

And those are only if you want to turn it into a sitcom that already exists...
Imagine all that's available if you start from scratch!

Limitless.
Escapades.
Limitlescapades.


** Werewolves age differently, like vampires. (Let's say.)***
If they get turned at an early age, their mind will grow older and more mature, but their body will stay frozen at that early age, just like the famous werewolf Gary Coleman.

Lupine.
Inertia.
Lupinertia.


*** And if you want to argue that werewolves do NOT act like vampires in this respect, well, then I guess we just know different werewolves, then, don't we?

Argument deadlocked.

Standstill.
Ill-formed.
Standstill-formed.

Werewolfactory

Werewolf.
Olfactory.
Werewolfactory.

That's when you have a really good sense of smell, but only when there's a full moon.