The neighborhood aggressor who takes your lunch money and spends it on health food.
Which is probably better than what you would have spent it on.
He's a utilitarian, really.
Someone who's thinking globally and acting locally about the obesity problem.
A modern day Robin Hood, robbing from the fat.
(Which is pretty simple, as the fat are not great at giving chase.
It's like taking candy from a baby.*)
So you may not always have your lunch, but you also may not get diabetes.
Talk about having your cake and not eating it too.
Because someone took it.
For your own good.
* Taking candy from a baby has such a bad rap.
But it's really the best thing FOR the baby.
I mean, do they really want to start rotting the almost no teeth they hardly have already?