Dominostalgia

Dominos.
Nostalgia.
Dominostalgia.

I used to eat their pizza all the time.

Then I found out the owner donated lots of money to pro-life causes, so I stopped.

Then I found out the owner sold the business and it has nothing to do with pro-life causes anymore.

But by then it was too late; I was already a vegan.

Tofu.
Futility.
Tofutility.

Debutcher

Debut.
Butcher.
Debutcher.

When was the first animal killed after Noah's trip on the ark?

They only brought two of each, so what were the animals being fed until they could reproduce enough to make more food for the other animals that were carnivores and needed to eat them?

Maybe they got so hungry they had to eat the unicorns and one of the dragons (the other of which fled to Loch Ness).

Mythology.
Eats.
Mythologeats.


(See also Amoe-Bay and Dragonorrhea.)

Cartuna

Cartoon.
Tuna.
Cartuna.

Shouldn't more animated characters be vegetarians?

There are so many anthropomorphized talking animals out there, and they're just chomping away at NON-anthropomorphized animals like it's normal.

Normal.
Malnutrition.
Normalnutrition.

You might argue no, because it's the natural order of things for animals to eat each other in the wild (e.g. fish do feed on other fish without being called cannibals), so why not eat them in the non-wild, especially when they're wearing pants like a human?

Wardrobe.
Obituary.
Wardrobituary.

Fair point, but that doesn't explain Mickey Mouse eating a steak.
(Mice are not predators of cows in the natural order of things.
But maybe talking mouse in shorts IS predator of cartoon cow.
Or just that Disney is a predator of everything.)

Jeopardize.
Disney.
Jeopardisney.

Sam-I-Ambulance

Sam-I-Am.
Ambulance.
Sam-I-Ambulance.

Where that guy would have ended up if he had been bothering ME as much as he did in that book.

"Look! I keep telling you, I'm a VEGAN! I don't eat eggs OR ham!
(I do like 'green' though.)"

Which would lead to the irony wherein I would cause someone pain because they don't respect my lifestyle of not causing anyone pain.

Vegan.
Anxiety.
Veganxiety.

ToFu Manchu

Tofu.
Fu Manchu.
ToFu Manchu.

A fake mustache made of soy.

(As opposed to mutton chops, say.)

Meat.
Mustache.
Meatstache.

Tofunny

Tofu.
Funny.
Tofunny.

This was the name of the first all-vegan comedy show that took place in Somerville, MA this weekend as part of the AltCom Festival.

Alternative.
Nativity.
Alternativity.*

Thanks to everyone for coming out, and especially for not asking how to pronounce the name of the show out loud (as it's a combo that can really fall apart when not written).

Phonetic.
Etiquette.
Phonetiquette.


* Not that this festival had anything to do with the birth of Jesus (that I know of), but an alternate version of the nativity scene would be one that DIDN'T involve Jesus, just like this festival mostly didn't (that I know of).

Jesus.
Useless.
Jesuseless.

Also, while "AltCom" may be a fine combination, it doesn't quite abide our rules.

Alternative
Comedy.
AltCom.

Creditched

Credit.
Ditched.
Creditched.

I lost my Amazon Visa card tonight.

I believe I left it at a restaurant, but just in case it was actually stolen by a criminal who was too lazy to use it immediately, I had the credit card company put it on temporary hold.

So, sorry, vegetarian establishment where I left the card--you can't start funding new tofu technologies on MY dime*, try some OTHER business model.

(Maybe the one you were already using that seems to be thriving--charging large amounts of money for small amounts of food.)

Vegan.
Entrepeneur.
Vegentrepeneur.

I wonder though, if I hadn't put the card on hold, and someone had run up loads of charges on MY quarter**, would I be able to cash in the Amazon gift credits that ensued before claiming (legitimately) that I wasn't responsible?

It wouldn't be the first time I got something for nothing from Amazon, but that's a story for another day (after the statute of limitations has expired--talk to you guys in seven years, or however many the real number is***).

Amazon.
Exonerated.
Amazonerated.


* Not my actual credit limit. I'm doing pretty well.

Switcheroo.
Roosevelt.
Switcheroosevelt.


** Also not my actual credit limit. But closer.

Washington.
Tonnage.
Washingtonnage.


*** If there IS a real number... because maybe there's no crime at all, just artistic license.

Or maybe there's an astute artistic criminal that you can learn from, if you know the right questions not to ask (until the right time).

Statute.
Tutelage.
Statutelage.

Wallettuce

Wallet.
Lettuce.
Wallettuce.

Money.

(Especially for a vegan.)

Dispatched.
Cheddar.
Dispatcheddar.

Sirloink

Sirloin.
Oink.
Sirloink.

Steak made from a pig.*

Pork.
Cow.
Porcow.


* Thanks to this damned recession. (Is a cow more expensive? I'm a vegan.)

Economy.
Meat.
Economeat.

Awesometimes

Awesome.
Sometimes.
Awesometimes.

This blog, according to a fan.
(Who then went on to say that it was actually awesome all the time, not just sometimes, but that he had just wanted to make that word combination.)*

Acceptable.
Baloney.
Acceptabaloney.

(It's really acceptable and NOT baloney**, but I just wanted to make that word combination.)


* Too bad "Awe-All" isn't a word, for our purposes here.
(Unfortunately, that looks too much like "awful" with an awful pronunciation.)

** Perhaps it is vegan baloney.
(Some sort of baloney that is, in fact, ITSELF full of baloney.
Though normally, baloney is the only thing that can be full of baloney and be genuine.
e.g. "You're full of yourself, baloney."
"That's right. I win.
Love,
A Talking Baloney.")

Vegander

Vegan.
Gander.
Vegander.

Geese mainly eat grasses, berries, seeds, algae, and other plants.

Herbivores. They think they're so great.
Just because they can surive without hurting any other sentient beings.*

Ego.
Goose.
Egoose.


* Though sometimes, they actually do eat insects and small fish.
So just who do these hypocritical birds think they are?
They're exactly like some humans who claim to eat no meat but don't always live up to their word.

Omnivore.
Voracious.
Omnivoracious.

Well, what's sauce for the goose may not be vegetarian.


(Finally, someone tells geese a much needed thing or two and takes them down a peg or multiple pegs.
At last, someone is giving them something to think about next time they're flying south in a V-formation.

They may be flocking together, but individually, they've been shown that they're as human as any other bird.

Animal.
Malcontent.
Animalcontent.)