Bloggerbil

Blogger.
Gerbil.
Bloggerbil.

"Today I ran on a wheelie thing. Didn't get very far."

Unless that's just for hamsters.

In which case I was just testing you, like a guinea pig. Totally.

Rodent.
Entirely.
Rodentirely.

Cartuna

Cartoon.
Tuna.
Cartuna.

Shouldn't more animated characters be vegetarians?

There are so many anthropomorphized talking animals out there, and they're just chomping away at NON-anthropomorphized animals like it's normal.

Normal.
Malnutrition.
Normalnutrition.

You might argue no, because it's the natural order of things for animals to eat each other in the wild (e.g. fish do feed on other fish without being called cannibals), so why not eat them in the non-wild, especially when they're wearing pants like a human?

Wardrobe.
Obituary.
Wardrobituary.

Fair point, but that doesn't explain Mickey Mouse eating a steak.
(Mice are not predators of cows in the natural order of things.
But maybe talking mouse in shorts IS predator of cartoon cow.
Or just that Disney is a predator of everything.)

Jeopardize.
Disney.
Jeopardisney.

Vermini-Golf

Vermin.
Mini-Golf.
Vermini-Golf.

One man's miniature playland is another rodent's full-sized golf course.

(A play on the old expression--one man's trash is another rat's dinner.)

Rodent.
Entitlement.
Rodentitlement.

Decoderogatory

Decoder.
Derogatory.
Decoderogatory.

"Guinea" is a slur.
"Pig" is an insult.

But "Guinea pig" is a cute little pet.

Or a cute little pet name for your Italian chauvinistic boyfriend.

Guinea.
Neato.
Guido.*

Or an experimental test subject in an experiment that you're conducting on your Italian chauvinistic boyfriend.**
Perhaps making him run through a maze.

Labyrinth.
Enthralled.
Labyrinthralled.


* Guido.
Don't.
Guidon't.


** Especially if you're dating a cute little rodent.

Bestiality.
A Little.
Bestialittle.

Conclusion of experiment: date a rodent, not a chauvinist.

Gopheroic

Gopher.
Heroic.
Gopheroic.

Groundhog's Day is coming up.
A burrowing rodent* can save us all from more winter
(if you believe in that sort of magic**).

Burrow.
Rodent.
Burrodent.


* Gophers and groundhogs actually differ in a few key ways that don't affect my life or this blog post: size, aggression level, number of natural predators, ability to swim, whether they hibernate, and when they breed, for example.

Knowledge.
Education.
Knowleducation.

They don't differ in relevant ways that I've already mentioned (they're burrowing rodents).


** In which case, why not just ask Santa for a shorter winter?
e.g. "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, and then an immediate spring."

Winter.
Terminated.
Winterminated.

And if you've been bad, then he brings you coal instead, and you use that to warm yourself up.

Win-win.
Winter.
Win-winter.