Mascary

Mascara.
Scary.
Mascary.

Too much makeup.

Lipstick.
Icky.
Lipsticky.

Reapersonification

Reaper.
Personification.
Reapersonification.

It's been said that the only thing there is to fear is fear itself, but I think that's incorrect.

I think the only things there are to fear are pain and death.

But once you have death, there is no more pain.

And if you are in pain, that means you are not dead.

So really, there's nothing to fear at all.

Unless you believe in hell, in which case that's pain AND death combined.

Suckers.

Hades.
Desolate.
Hadesolate.

Zombifido

Zombified.
Fido.
Zombifido.

An even scarier Cujo, back from the dead.

Canine.
Inescapable.
Caninescapable.

Ethiccups

Ethics.
Hiccups.
Ethiccups.

If a blessing is the right way to respond to a sneeze, what's the right response for the hiccups?

Answer: a scaring.

So, a spooky blessing should cover any bodily function.

Cue the holy ghost.

Pray.
Wraith.
Praith.


(See also Sasquachoo.)

Careerie

Career.
Eerie.
Careerie.

Ghost busting for a living.

Seems like a scary job, but basically you're just telling someone that they can cut out of work early.
Because spirits are always only hanging around to complete some "unfinished business."
And all they have to be told is that their work is done.
No more chain-clanking, no more terror-inducing, no more blood-splattering necessary.*

Time to punch out. Forever.
No big.

Slime.
Timesheet.
Slimesheet.


* That last one especially true for the ghost of Jackson Pollack.

Paint.
Intangible.
Paintangible.

Monsterility

Monster.
Sterility.
Monsterility.

The real reason creatures lurk in children's bedrooms and scare them...
Because the existence of children remind them of their own inability to procreate.

The natural process of perpetuating life is denied them.
Because they are not natural.*

So they hide under the bed, because they can't do what's necessary on top of it.
They inspire fear in others to avoid facing the fear of their own inadequacies.

Boo! they say. Seemingly to scare the children.
But it's actually projection aimed inward.
They monsters are booing themselves.

Booing.
Ingrained.
Booingrained.


* Unnatural or supernatural. Not artificial.
100% organic original recipe monsters.

Popcornithology

Popcorn.
Ornithology.
Popcornithology.

The study of birds accomplished by luring them with snacks.

Of course, some may be wary of being lured to BE snacks.

Flighty.
Typical.
Flightypical.

Additionally, you only get to study the birds that enjoy the snacks, so your sample will be skewed.

You may learn one small step at a time about individual popcorn-loving birds, but you will not make any giant leaps in learning about all of birdkind.

Birdkind.
Individual.
Birdkindividual.

But continue shooting for the moon.*
Non-threateningly yet firmly, keep offering food with a strong arm as you kneel.

Armstrong.
Ongoing.
Armstrongoing.



* Be aware that this shooting sound may frighten some birds away from your vicinity as well.

Scare.
Area.
Scarea.