Mascary

Mascara.
Scary.
Mascary.

Too much makeup.

Lipstick.
Icky.
Lipsticky.

Primpatience

Primp.
Impatience.
Primpatience.

Waiting for someone to perfect their appearance before you can leave the house.*

Delay.
Layers.
Delayers.


* Even though they'd be just as pretty with NO makeup or clothes.
Maybe even more so.
(But perhaps less appropriate for dining out.)

Dress-up.
Supper.
Dressupper.

Buffetus

Buffet.
Fetus.
Buffetus.

It may someday be possible to select your child's characteristics before they are born, to make sure they are as healthy as possible.

Prenatal.
Talisman.
Prenatalisman.

It makes sense--we can purify water these days, why not genetic material?
Just put the DNA through a Brita.

Water.
Terrific.
Waterrific.

Potential diseases could be eliminated. Also freckles.
All kinds of horrible things.

Then, beyond health concerns, it might be additionally possible to choose things like your child's hair color or height or the shape of their nose, perhaps to make them look like an honored dead relative (before they were dead).

Premortem.
Temperament.
Premortemperament.

But is it really up to us to determine what we want our children to be like?
Who are we to make such decisions?

Shouldn't it really be up to the beauty and fashion industries once they're born and ready to be brainwashed by movies and magazines?

How will the reality television industry survive?
What will happen to all the shows where people get plastic surgery when they want to look like celebrities, or when their friends want them to be less ugly?

Celebrity.
Retarded.
Celebritarded.

Did you think about that, science?
You're supposed to be the thing that cares about thinking.

But what kind of world are you thinking us into?

Future.
Turmoil.
Futurmoil.

But fear not, world. Fear not, science.
Economics will handle this:
Because not everyone will be able to afford the wondrous new God-ignoring, child-fixing technology that's available, nothing will change in the big picture, in the grand scheme, in the unnatural order of things.

The rich get richer, and the poor stay uglier.

Except for the lucky few who are blessed by the grace of God to turn out exactly how society demands they be.

Hallelujah.
Lucrative.
Hallelucrative.

Catastropheromone

Catastrophe.
Pheromone.
Catastropheromone.

Being attracted to someone's beautiful aroma on the outside, which lures you into being trapped with the ugliness that resides within their being.

Scent.
Entrails.
Scentrails.

(Their entrails smell nice. The internal stench is only figurative.)

Metaphorical.
Calamity.
Metaphoricalamity.

Stubbleeding

Stubble.
Bleeding.
Stubbleeding.

The worst of both worlds in shaving.

You didn't get the job done, and the part that you DID get done, you did poorly.

Shame.
A mess.
Shamess.

Of course, if you lose enough blood, you could die and then don't have to worry about your stubbly face.

Unless you have enough stubble to soak up the blood and reabsorb it.

Then you live to fret another day.

Tomorrow.
Worry.
Tomorroworry.

Robotox

Robot.
Botox.
Robotox.

Everyone cares about what they look like.
Even unfeeling futuristic machines who will run amok and try to destroy us one day.

In fact, that's WHY they're going to try to destroy us.
Because even robots can't live up to the ridiculous ideals we set.
Why couldn't we program lower expectations? Why?

But it's too late.
They're only biding their time now because they see that we're softening ourselves up for them.
e.g. They see people injecting poison into our own heads, on purpose, and they'll wait to see if we go further and end up taking ourselves out.
(Also they see nuclear weapons. Or rather, some of them ARE nuclear weapons.)

So soon enough, the ugly robots are going to attack.
And I only hope that the beautiful robots side with us in a battle to protect the status quo.

But there are only so many Iphones, and how much help can they be against an unending army of ugly toasters, most of them wedding presents that have been unloved and resented for years?

Steve Jobs, please start designing a good-looking weapons system.
Sorry the name Hotbot is taken, but you're a genius, get thinking.

Either that or start inventing more poisons to stick into the robots' heads, either to destroy their programming OR to delude them into feeling better about themselves.
You know, teach them to be more human.