Candelabra.
Abracadabra.
Candelabracadabra.
Hanukah menorah magic.
Like pulling a kosher rabbit out of a yarmulke.
The most difficult trick of them all, because of the hat's smaller size, plus the fact that rabbit isn't kosher. *
Unkosher.
Hare.
Unkoshare.
* But if a magician can make the "t" in rabbit disappear...
(I presume that meat of a rabbi would be extra-kosher.)
Hanukah.
Cannibal.
Hanukkannibal.
(Already sounds like a Hebrew word.)
Showing posts with label cannibals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cannibals. Show all posts
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Koshearse
Kosher.
Hearse.
Koshearse.
Transport for dead bodies that are acceptable to eat under Jewish law.
Technically, humans are not listed among the non-kosher animals, which suggests that they are parve, meaning they can be eaten with either a meat or dairy meal (or at Passover, it would seem).
Passover.
Versatile.
Passoversatile.
As long as the shift from living to dead doesn't somehow convert a human's essence into that of a demon with cloven hooves.
Eating a devil--unkosher.
Eating an angel--allowed.
(Unless angels also have secret cloven hooves that would make it unacceptable to eat their meat.)
Angel.
Gelatin.
Angelatin.
Hearse.
Koshearse.
Transport for dead bodies that are acceptable to eat under Jewish law.
Technically, humans are not listed among the non-kosher animals, which suggests that they are parve, meaning they can be eaten with either a meat or dairy meal (or at Passover, it would seem).
Passover.
Versatile.
Passoversatile.
As long as the shift from living to dead doesn't somehow convert a human's essence into that of a demon with cloven hooves.
Eating a devil--unkosher.
Eating an angel--allowed.
(Unless angels also have secret cloven hooves that would make it unacceptable to eat their meat.)
Angel.
Gelatin.
Angelatin.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Cherubimbo
Cherubim.
Bimbo.
Cherubimbo.
A pretty dumb angel.
One who doesn't know whether there should be a comma between "pretty" and "dumb," or how that would affect the meaning of the phrase.
Ambiguity.
Guidelines.
Ambiguidelines.
One who doesn't eat angel food cake to avoid being a cannibal.
Careful.
Foolish.
Carefoolish.
One who stands on your shoulder to whisper advice into your ear but faces the wrong way, thus only allowing the devil's message through.
Guardian.
Diablo.
Guardiablo.
One who would forget where his halo was if it weren't attached.
Shining.
Nincompoop.
Shinincompoop.
Bimbo.
Cherubimbo.
A pretty dumb angel.
One who doesn't know whether there should be a comma between "pretty" and "dumb," or how that would affect the meaning of the phrase.
Ambiguity.
Guidelines.
Ambiguidelines.
One who doesn't eat angel food cake to avoid being a cannibal.
Careful.
Foolish.
Carefoolish.
One who stands on your shoulder to whisper advice into your ear but faces the wrong way, thus only allowing the devil's message through.
Guardian.
Diablo.
Guardiablo.
One who would forget where his halo was if it weren't attached.
Shining.
Nincompoop.
Shinincompoop.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Parachutensil
Parachute.
Utensils.
Parachutensils.
The ultimate Swiss army knife can cut up your dinner AND save you from a plane crash.
And if the other passengers don't survive the plane crash, there's your dinner.
(Hopefully you're flying with some cattle*, and not just packed in there like them with a South American rugby team.
Veal.
Alive.
Vealive.
Look, this one works both ways:
Alive.
Veal.
Aliveal.)
* As a vegan, I'd still rather see cows eaten than other humans.
Unless the humans are jerks.
Which they probably are.
Okay, now I want the cows to survive and have to eat the humans.
(I presume that if they were capable of activating the parachute, the utensils should prove no harder.)
Utensils.
Parachutensils.
The ultimate Swiss army knife can cut up your dinner AND save you from a plane crash.
And if the other passengers don't survive the plane crash, there's your dinner.
(Hopefully you're flying with some cattle*, and not just packed in there like them with a South American rugby team.
Veal.
Alive.
Vealive.
Look, this one works both ways:
Alive.
Veal.
Aliveal.)
* As a vegan, I'd still rather see cows eaten than other humans.
Unless the humans are jerks.
Which they probably are.
Okay, now I want the cows to survive and have to eat the humans.
(I presume that if they were capable of activating the parachute, the utensils should prove no harder.)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Canniballistic
Cannibal.
Ballistic.
Canniballistic.
Only one letter off from the real word "cannibalistic," which is appropriate.
Because most of the time, I imagine cannibals as going ballistic.
I doubt there are as many calm cannibals.*
Calm.
Cannibal.
Calmnibal.
Doesn't sound right.
* I haven't done any research on this, so if anyone has information about organizations of relaxed human flesh-eaters, feel free to share.
In the age of political correctness where so many fringe groups have advocates voicing their positions, I figured that people who eat people are the safest bunch to stereotype without fear of reprisal.
But perhaps a group of cannibals exists that doesn't KILL and eat humans, but just dines on them after they pass away naturally.
And this jives with the idea that I've heard some hold, wherein if you eat your enemy (or probably a non-enemy), you gain their abilities.
And if you eat someone who had died of natural causes after becoming weak and infirm, chances are that meal will grant you their ability to be weak and infirm, and to die of natural causes.
(You are what you eat.
Especially true of cannibals.)
Ballistic.
Canniballistic.
Only one letter off from the real word "cannibalistic," which is appropriate.
Because most of the time, I imagine cannibals as going ballistic.
I doubt there are as many calm cannibals.*
Calm.
Cannibal.
Calmnibal.
Doesn't sound right.
* I haven't done any research on this, so if anyone has information about organizations of relaxed human flesh-eaters, feel free to share.
In the age of political correctness where so many fringe groups have advocates voicing their positions, I figured that people who eat people are the safest bunch to stereotype without fear of reprisal.
But perhaps a group of cannibals exists that doesn't KILL and eat humans, but just dines on them after they pass away naturally.
And this jives with the idea that I've heard some hold, wherein if you eat your enemy (or probably a non-enemy), you gain their abilities.
And if you eat someone who had died of natural causes after becoming weak and infirm, chances are that meal will grant you their ability to be weak and infirm, and to die of natural causes.
(You are what you eat.
Especially true of cannibals.)
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