Parachutensil

Parachute.
Utensils.
Parachutensils.

The ultimate Swiss army knife can cut up your dinner AND save you from a plane crash.

And if the other passengers don't survive the plane crash, there's your dinner.

(Hopefully you're flying with some cattle*, and not just packed in there like them with a South American rugby team.

Veal.
Alive.
Vealive.

Look, this one works both ways:

Alive.
Veal.
Aliveal.)


* As a vegan, I'd still rather see cows eaten than other humans.
Unless the humans are jerks.
Which they probably are.
Okay, now I want the cows to survive and have to eat the humans.

(I presume that if they were capable of activating the parachute, the utensils should prove no harder.)