Sorrizona

Sorry.
Arizona.
Sorrizona.

I went on ABC News Now earlier today. So not now anymore. Before. I went on ABC News Now before. Understand?

They asked me about ASU's decision not to give Obama an honorary degree, and how I felt about it, because he seemed fine with it.

My girlfriend is actually from Arizona and, in preparation for my appearance (before Now, or before then, if you will), told me that Arizona was one of the last states to recognize MLK's birthday as a holiday, and then only because they were afraid they couldn't have the Superbowl if they didn't.

That said, she pointed out that it's difficult to get an honorary degree if you don't have any honor.

So, she said that before Now, so that I could say it on Now, and now that it's later (after Now), I just wanted to clear something up, because the person interviewing me said "ouch" and apologized to their Arizona listeners.

And I wanted to apologize for a couple things:

1) For saying on air "no offense," because that's lame.
2) For NOT saying on air that this point had come from a smart person FROM Arizona.
3) For not having a third thing to apologize for.
4) For creating a paradox that may destroy the universe but hasn't yet, it seems.

That's all.

ASU.
Sucka.
A SUcka.

(Seriously, no offense.)

Partnerd

Partner.
Nerd.
Partnerd.

The smart kid in high school that you weren't friends with but were happy to pretend that you were in order to avoid doing any of the work that you were assigned to do as a group.

You know, me.

Pretend.
Friends.
Pretriends.

Just kidding, everyone.

This was more of an eighth-grade phenomenon for me.

I helped a popular kid pass vocabulary tests by tilting my paper towards him.
In exchange, he would smile at me with his popular face.

In fairness, he did have a good enough vocabulary to have convinced me that this was a good idea. *

And what's done is done. **

Irrevocable.
Vocabulary.
Irrevocabulary.


* And that kid became Obama's Secretary of Vocabulary.
Or at least that's what he made up for his Wikipedia page.
Or at least that's what I made up for this blog.

Faux.
Vocab.
Fauxcab.


** Also, what's dumb is dumb.

Inaugrationality

Inaugurate.
Rationality.
Inaugurationality.

Barack Obama is the president.
It happened.

Dream.
America.
Dreamerica.

Now all he has to do is flip the flourishing economy switch from Off to On.
And the universal health care switch.
Also the gay rights equality switch.
And a few others.

But he did just get there.
And he's already mentioned the paying-attention-to-science-again switch.
And the not-lumping-all-Muslims-together-as-evil switch.
And the having-regard-for-our-country's-reputation switch.

Obama.
Magnificent.
Obamagnificent.


All these switches are likely running on dimmer technology, actually.
With certain geographical and chronological time delays.
But we're definitely moving forward, if Einstein knew what he was talking about.

Which he did. As a scientist.
And Obama knows it.

Space/Time.
I'm happy.
Spaced/I'm happy.