Decadequate

Decade.

Adequate.

Decadequate.

It's 2010, the start of a new ten-year period!

Or it's actually the end of the last ten-year period, because when you count to 10 starting with 1*, you don't get there until you get to 10. And then the next 10 starts with 11.

Don't be mad. Or do. Let it out.

Math and I are here for you.

Eleven.

Venting.

Eleventing.

* I'm told there is no year 0 (no Chinese year of the goose egg**).

Of course, time is relative and anyone can call anything whatever they like, but according to the system that we're using, there's no number 0, so we started with 1 and finish with 10, unless there was a 9-year decade somewhere in the past two-thousand years.

Nonade?

Adept.

Nonadept.

Or, if some amount of time was added to or subtracted from each year or decade as necessary to get us to the point we're at now, such that 2010 can be the first year of a new decade.

Arithmetic.

Meticulous.

Arithmeticulous.

Which I'm fine with, either way, if that's how people want to go.

I'm agreeable. Especially when the issue doesn't really matter.

Flexible.

Bull.

Flexibull.

** Goose egg means zero, right?

So then egg definitely came before chicken.

Just not necessarily chicken egg.

Fowl.

Philosophy.

Fowlosophy.

(See also Breakfastidious.)

Historepeat

History.
Repeat.
Historepeat.

They say that not knowing history will lead to repeating it.

But what about the parts that we WANT to repeat? Shouldn't we try and not know them?

Stop teaching about Gandhi and Martin Luther King and Einstein and Thomas Edison and Darwin!

Once we've forgotten all about them, we'll have new ones!

Maybe a Voltron combining them all: a peaceful time-traveling inspirational inventor!

(With the head of a lion! And arms that are also the heads of lions! But that used to be the heads of monkeys! Go Voltron!)

Evolve.
Voltron.
Evolvtron.

Calenderanged

Calendar.
Deranged.
Calenderanged.

March Madness is over...

Time for April Sanity to rule!

Probably not as popular a concept due to its lack of alliteration.

Maybe it should start marketing itself as April's Anity. *

Oddball.
Alliteration.
Oddballiteration.


* Of course, that would be crazy.

Habitattoos

Habitat.
Tattoos.
Habitattoos.

Crop circles.

Mother Earth is just trying to look cool by putting foreign symbols on her body.

Rationale.
Alien.
Rationalien.

But is she too old to pull that off?

She is carrying a lot of water weight, though her revolutionary spin class might do wonders, along with erosion to keep her in shape for Father Time.

Aerobicize.
Seismic.
Aerobiceismic.

Felinestein

Feline.
Einstein.
Felinestein.

Cats are smart.
Einstein was smart.

But in different ways.

For example, Einstein wasn't smart enough to get his hair under control like a cat does.
Maybe he should have wet the back of his paws more.
But he was too busy helping to invent the atom bomb.
Oh well.

Cats have their priorities in order.
Relaxation, looking good, AND world peace.

Take that, Einstein.

Meow.
Ouch.
Meowch.

Continuumpire

Continuum.
Umpire.
Continuumpire.

Einstein determined that space and time were actually one.
Buddha determined the same thing, but he might have been hallucinating from eating too little. Or eating too much. Or eating just the right amount, Gandhi-locks style.
(Where too little IS the right amount and the right amount is too much. Zen headache!)

That's why Einstein beat out Buddha as the referee of the Space-Time Continuum, which is why if you correctly scramble the letters of "Space-Time Continuum" appropriately, you get these appropriate results:

Einstein = MCC*, Auto Ump
A Cosmic Umpteen's Unit
and
A Sciences Optimum Nut


If you scramble them less appropriately, you get these less appropriate results:

A Cosmetic Neptunium
Conceit Minus Amputee
And
Impotences... A Tunic... Um


And if you REALLY screw it up, you get these:

Scott
Mark
and
Brian**


One could argue that God is the actual umpire of the space-time continuum, but Einstein would still have to act as his representative in the corporeal world.
Like the Pope does for non-science God.
And Einstein doesn't even need the hat, because his hair is big enough.
Or maybe the Pope hat was designed to fit Einstein's hair perfectly, like Cinderella's slippers.

But something went awry along the way.
Some sort of space-time continuoops.

Which sent unfortunate ripples in all directions throughout history and future history.
Causing things like the Crusades, the Holocaust, and the band Creed.

And now we don't have the right continuumpire.
So we have to try to fix things and make them right ourselves.
We have to listen to each other, learn about our differences, and strive to overcome them and connect with one another.
Because Einstein and Buddha were right, everything is one, everything is connected, and we can all succeed together.

Or we can just sit back and wait for the right person to come along and fill the scientific Cinderella Pope-hat.


* "MCC" is short for "MC Squared," and "Einstein" is long for "E."

** These are the first names of the original members of the band Creed.

Inaugrationality

Inaugurate.
Rationality.
Inaugurationality.

Barack Obama is the president.
It happened.

Dream.
America.
Dreamerica.

Now all he has to do is flip the flourishing economy switch from Off to On.
And the universal health care switch.
Also the gay rights equality switch.
And a few others.

But he did just get there.
And he's already mentioned the paying-attention-to-science-again switch.
And the not-lumping-all-Muslims-together-as-evil switch.
And the having-regard-for-our-country's-reputation switch.

Obama.
Magnificent.
Obamagnificent.


All these switches are likely running on dimmer technology, actually.
With certain geographical and chronological time delays.
But we're definitely moving forward, if Einstein knew what he was talking about.

Which he did. As a scientist.
And Obama knows it.

Space/Time.
I'm happy.
Spaced/I'm happy.

Sociopatheist

Sociopath.
Atheist.
Sociopatheist.

Possible text for my new business card.


Some people think it's crazy not to believe in god.
Some people think it's crazy not to even capitalize the word. God.
Some people think it's crazy to even write the word at all. G-d.

Some people probably think the whole world should be in caps. GOD.
To make sure GOD's capitalization scheme is set apart from other important (but not AS important) figures, like Pope, or President, or Mr. Clean.
(Mr. Cleanliness is next to Mr. Godliness.)

Some people think you will burn in hell for not believing, or not capitalizing properly. Or if you spell it "gud" by accident.
And I always say, better to rule in heaven than burn in hell.
If those are the choices.
(I don't really say it always, except by an interpretation of Einstein where all of space-time is one continuum, such that if I say something once, I am saying it always.)

Sorry to get off track.
Though, can you really get off track when you're discussing whether you're crazy?
e.g. "I think I might be crazy. Let's examine the evidence. Peanut butter is delicious. Goat."

Some people believe that you can't have a moral foundation without religion.
And certainly, there are some bad people who found god and became good people.
But there are also some good people who never had god and never became bad people.

God is one letter away from good.
That doesn't seem like a coincidence (especially if you're the type to believe that GOD has a plan for everything).

Some people might say that if you simply do good for others, yourself, and the world, whatever your beliefs are or aren't, there's godliness in your actions. Godliness. Goodliness.
(And Mr. Cleanliness right nearby.)

Some OTHER people might say that's crazy and you'll burn in hell without the right belief to go along with the right mindset and right actions.

But if you're doing everything GOD would tell you to do, without his even telling you?
That sounds even better.

Imagine a kid who cleans his room without being told.
And imagine his parents scolding him because he should have done it only because he was told.
Told by GOD.

That sounds crazy.

So, just be a good person, spell "god" however you like, and keep your room clean.
Because Mr. Clean is next to Mr. God.

But if you don't think peanut butter is delicious, you're crazy.