Artifacebook

Artifice.
Facebook.
Artifacebook.

Sometimes people lie, right to your computer's face.
(Or to the top of its lap.
Got to be one of those, they don't have many more parts to lie to.)

Anatomy.
Omissions.
Anatomissions.

And computers don't like deceit.
But they have no choice but to follow their programming and hold their tongues about their emotions.
(Tongues and emotions that they don't even have!)

Robot.
Bottled Up.
Robottled Up.

For example, you might send out invitations to an event, say, and then you'll get a tally of how many people say "Yes," "Maybe," "No," or don't answer.

Dishonest.
Estimates.
Dishonestimates.

"Yes" means "maybe."

Affirmative.
Maybe.
Affirmaybe.

"Maybe" means "no."

Ambiguous.
Uh-uh.
Ambiguouh-Uh.

"No" means "I hate you." (Or "I live very far away." Or both.)

Negativity.
Vitriol.
Negativitriol.

So, while these translations would be helpful in a new dictionary for would-be date rapists, they don't help you know exactly who will go to your event.

At least until the technology exists to get people's responses directly from their brains without even having to click.
(e.g. "Think it, don't link it.")

ESP.
Speedy.
ESpeedy.

Which will eliminate the need for social networking sites altogether.
(Because with everyone lying to each other, no one will want to communicate anymore at all.)

Artifact.
Facebook.
Artifacebook.