Genee-Jerk

Genie.
Knee-Jerk.
Genee-Jerk.

Don't react immediately when a magical being tells you you have three wishes.

First, make sure it's not one of those vindictive ones that will purposefully misinterpret your words to give you literally what you asked for but figuratively big problems.

e.g. You ask to be the richest person in the world, so the genie kills everyone else.

Genie.
Genocide.
Genie-cide.

Also, it might not even be a genie, but the devil in disguise trying to steal your soul.

If that's the case, go through all the motions and then when he tries to claim it, you can say, "No, I said you could have my SOLE. Of my shoe. Take the whole thing. In fact, take both. I'm feeling magnanimous."

Genie.
Generous.
Genie-rous.*

Then you just go to the genie and ask for a new pair.

And then he gives you a piece of fruit.

Which is way more delicious than losing your soul.

Genie.
Needless to Say.
Geneedless to Say.



* That one wasn't actually even about the genie, sorry.

Devil.
Illegitimate.
Devillegitimate.

Tic-Tactic

Tic-Tac.
Tactic.
Tic-Tactic.

How to get someone with bad breath to stop doing that.

Halitosis.
Cease and Desist.
Halitosease and Desist.

Ventriloquisdom

Ventriloquist.

Wisdom.

Ventriloquisdom.

Behind every great man is another man with his hand in that first man's butt.

Also the first man is made of wood, and doesn't have to be a man.

The second man doesn't have to be a man either.

This stuff is hard to learn. You'll never find a book called "Ventriloquists for Dummies."

Mannequin.

Quintessentials.

Mannequintessentials.

Sincidious

Sin City.

Insidious.

Sincidious.

I'm in Vegas this week, and I came up with a new word to describe it.

(It also coincidentally sounds like there's a "hideous" in there somewhere.)

Coincide.

Hideous.

Coincideous.

Februaryan

February.

Aryan.

Februaryan.

Someone who really hates Black History Month.

African.

Anger.

Africanger.

Decadequate

Decade.

Adequate.

Decadequate.

It's 2010, the start of a new ten-year period!

Or it's actually the end of the last ten-year period, because when you count to 10 starting with 1*, you don't get there until you get to 10. And then the next 10 starts with 11.

Don't be mad. Or do. Let it out.

Math and I are here for you.

Eleven.

Venting.

Eleventing.

* I'm told there is no year 0 (no Chinese year of the goose egg**).

Of course, time is relative and anyone can call anything whatever they like, but according to the system that we're using, there's no number 0, so we started with 1 and finish with 10, unless there was a 9-year decade somewhere in the past two-thousand years.

Nonade?

Adept.

Nonadept.

Or, if some amount of time was added to or subtracted from each year or decade as necessary to get us to the point we're at now, such that 2010 can be the first year of a new decade.

Arithmetic.

Meticulous.

Arithmeticulous.

Which I'm fine with, either way, if that's how people want to go.

I'm agreeable. Especially when the issue doesn't really matter.

Flexible.

Bull.

Flexibull.

** Goose egg means zero, right?

So then egg definitely came before chicken.

Just not necessarily chicken egg.

Fowl.

Philosophy.

Fowlosophy.

(See also Breakfastidious.)

Entrail Mix

Entrail.

Trail Mix.

Entrail Mix.

A good snack for a zombie hike.

(Talk about super-natural.)

And make sure you keep hydrated.

Intestinal.

Nalgene.

Intestinalgene.

Facoctagon

Facacta.
Octagon.
Facoctagon.

A shape that's supposed to have eight sides but doesn't.

Also it's Jewish.

Meshugge.
Geometry.
Meshuggeometry.

Conanalysis

Conan.
Analysis.
Conanalysis.

Last night, I made my network debut on the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien.

(Conan wasn't making a debut with me, he goes with the show.)

Here is what happened. (Click on this.)

Watch if you like. Enjoy if you do. Have a party.

Disco.
Conan.
Disconan.

Nobelfry

Nobel.
Belfry.
Nobelfry.

Some people think the committee is batty for giving Obama the peace prize, at a time when our country is at war.

Afghanistan.
Standby.
Afghanistandby.

But Batman is constantly engaged in a war on crime, to keep the peace, remember?

Forgot.
Gotham.
Forgotham.

So, nothing hypocritical about being batty.

Hypocrite.
Critters.
Hypocritters.