Caspervy

Casper.
Pervy.
Caspervy.

Sometimes at night my bedroom door creaks and opens, like there's a ghost peeping tom after me.

Or it could just be a crosswind.*

Breezy.
ZZZs.
BreeZZZs.


* What makes the wind so cross? Because it hasn't found a ghost to love?

Airflow.
Lonely.
Airflonely.

Mayhemp

Mayhem.
Hemp.
Mayhemp.

Marijuana can cause a lot of problems.

Personally, it usually makes me fall asleep and miss the rest of the party.

Marijuana.
Naptime.
Marijuanaptime.

But people usually take pictures of me (or draw pictures on me, or both) so I can learn how fun it was anyway.

Narcoleptic.
Tickled.
Narcoleptickled.

So there's no need to do cocaine or uppers of any kind to stay awake, not in this modern age of technology.

Gateway drug problem solved!

Cocaine.
Inert.
Cocainert.


(See also Begateway.)

Pillowl

Pillow.
Owl.
Pillowl.

A really soft bird.

You can't sleep on it though, because it's awake all night.

(It's a nocturnal cushion.)

Shh.
Hoot.
Shhoot.

Sitcomatose

Sitcom.
Comatose.
Sitcomatose.

As a teenager, I would come home from school, do my homework, and then sit calmly in front of the TV from around 6pm until midnight.

Waste.
Steady.
Wasteady.

In my pre-teen years, I had been limited to only a half-hour of television a night, so perhaps this was my rebellious phase.

Mr. Belvedere.
Rebel.
Mr. Rebelvedere.

If only I had come across an after-school special "The Boy Who Watched Too Much TV."
But I was busy doing my homework responsibly when that would have aired, I imagine.

Square.
Responsible.
Squaresponsible.

As I grow older and tell myself that I grow wiser, I find that I've matured enough that I certainly don't sit in front of the TV nearly that much at all.

Television.
Shunned.
Televishunned.

The computer screen is where it's at now, of course!.
(Thanks Hulu, Netflix Watch it Now, and nearly every TV channel's website.)

And with fewer commercials, it's a party!*

Hulu.
Luau.
Huluau.


* But not a Superbowl party. Because those are all ABOUT the commercials.

Madden.
Advertising.
Maddenvertising.

Morninja

Morning.
Ninja.
Morninja.*

Me, when I awaken earlier than my girlfriend and sneak out of bed without waking her.

Sleeping.
Ingenuity.
Sleepingenuity.


* Not to be confused with a mourning ninja, which is someone who kicks ass at grieving.

Grief.
Effortless.
Grieffortless.

Probably because they're trained to be comfortable with death, they're at one with the universe, and they're already wearing black.

Shiva.
Values.
Shivalues.

Drinkling

Drink.
Inkling.
Drinkling.

Right between consciousness and blacking out, when you know you've had too much alcohol but are starting to forget everything including that.

Drunk.
Unconscious.
Drunconscious.

Possummation

Possum.
Summation.
Possummation.

Playing dead listening to a boring speech until the recap at the end.

Conked.
Conclusion.
Conkedclusion.

Insomnivore

Insomnia.
Omnivore.
Insomnivore.

Someone who stays up all night eating everything.

Bed.
Edible.
Bedible.

Which might explain difficulty sleeping, if you've eaten your bed.

(Though that wouldn't cover why it kept you up the first night BEFORE you ate it.)

Stalemate.
Mattress.
Stalemattress.

Ashleep

Asleep.
Sheep.
Ashleep.

What do these guys count when they have insomnia?

Each other?

What if they don't have any sheep friends, no one they can count (on), and that's what's keeping them up at night?

Ewe.
Awake.
Ewake.

Hassleep

Hassle.
Asleep.
Hassleep.

I've never had trouble sleeping, which got me into trouble once while driving.

I got a ticket for making an illegal turn, because apparently it is not lawful to go off the road, through a fence, and into a telephone pole.

Automobile.
Illegal.
Automobillegal.

Snoozone

Snooze.
Ozone.
Snoozone.

You snooze, the planet loses.

Actually, if people did more snoozing and less working at releasing chemicals into the atmosphere, then the planet would win.

You're awake, the planet aches.

Awake.
Ache.
Awache.