Invertebratwurst

Invertebrate.
Bratwurst.
Invertebratwurst.

A sausage made from the meat of spineless creatures, as opposed to pig or cow.*

Sure, squidwurst may take some preparation to get that inky taste out, but bratworm is already in the exact right shape.

Disgusting.
Stingray.**
Disgustingray.


* Animals with a real backbone.
Courageous, upstanding animals.

Pigs especially.
Have you read "Animal Farm" or "The Three Little Pigs"?
They even give other animals what for.

Porky.
Kick-Ass.
Porkyck-Ass.


** Rays are actually vertebrates.
I thought I could put one by you, anonymous public, but I cannot.
Because what is the internet about, if not being straightforward with one another?***

Honesty.
Stipulation.
Honestipulation.


*** Answers may include anything from "internet dating" to "Wikipedia" to "Dateline pedophile stings" to "all three at once."
(Read about my latest dating disaster and trip to jail on Wikipedia.)

Wikipedia.
Pedophilia.
Wikipedophilia.

Peacoctopus

Peacock.
Octopus.
Peacoctopus.

A bird that is eight times fancier than the original.*

And because the fanciness is used to attract mates, this bird is likely a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Rumor.
Mormon.
Rumormon.


* Or a flying octopus...

Look down in the water... It's a fish! It's a submarine! No, it's a cephalopod with a super fancy wingspan!

Squid.
Width.
Squidth.

Squedding

Squid.
Wedding.
Squedding.

When two cephalopods are joined in holy matrimony.

To have and to hold (with sixteen arms and legs).
To love, honor, and obey (by communicating with bioluminescence).
For richer or poorer (though the ink may not always be flowing).
In sickness and in health (no matter how fried you may be).

Calamari.
Marital.
Calamarital.

I now pronounce you delicious.